Days of Joy & Sun

Two Months Home

2012-02-01T10:43:00.003-05:00

And what a busy two months it has been! Life is already so different from when we first got off that plane on December 1st and introduced KaiYu to the rest of the family and his new home. I've been too busy to blog about it all, but I don't want to forget what life was really like. So here we go...

The child we met in China was crazy active, had virtually no English skills, and pounced on Ryan and I with more hugs, wet kisses and "I love you"s than we were ready for. We were expecting a grieving, angry, tantruming child, and what we got instead was a hyper, happy, loving boy living on high alert every second of the day. It was difficult to get to know this new person in our lives, to try and see through the cultural differences, orphanage behaviors and defense mechanisms to the "real boy" within, much less to feel like he was really our son. But time has changed so much of that. I can now say that I love Kai as much as my other children - he is no longer "my newly adopted child", he is just my son. I remember that "getting to know you" stage with Abigail's birth and with Paul's adoption, but with Kai it was even more pronounced, as he was so much more independent and capable and really didn't "need" us in the same was as a newborn or two year old does. I knew it would get better with time, and I am so relieved that it is already happening so quickly.

With that said, there have still been so very many "firsts" we have experienced with Kai the past few months. Many of them were in China - first hotel, first pizza, first tooth fairy visit, first airplane ride. Here too we've had a first visit to see Santa, first Christmas with presents, first time decorating a tree, first time sledding. I thought it would be overwhelming to Kai to have Christmas so close to coming home, but he actually handled it all really well. He enjoyed visiting grandparents' houses for celebrations, ate special holiday meals happily, and really got into opening gifts. I think that it actually really cemented his place in our family a bit, with having his own stocking with his name on it, and getting gifts just like his siblings did.

Our first picture as a family of FIVE!

With G.G. on Christmas Eve

We got through all of our doctor's visits, checkups, blood work, parasite lab work and immunizations. The end result is that we have a very healthy child, which is good. We explained that he would be getting shots to make him grow big and strong, (remembering how he freaked in China), and were surprised when he agreed to it calmly. He did stipulate that he wanted one shot in each arm - I'm guessing he took "strong" literally and wanted his biceps to be equal!

I spent a lot of time "schooling" Kai with workbooks for first grade math at the school. We sat in on gym class and library time. We ate lunch with Abigail and played outside at the playground. He got very comfortable at the school well before it was time for him to start there. Kai was tested in Chinese at the local university and came out at about the first grade level in his native language.

We celebrated the New Year with some dear friends and Kai loved jumping on bubble wrap and lighting sparklers.

Sparklers on New Year's Eve

After the holiday break, we started Kai in second grade. He was so nervous on the first day of school, but insisted that he did indeed want to go. He was most nervous about not being able to speak English. I worried about him too, and stayed in the building that first morning. But he did not have any problems at all, went off with a smile on his face (but was too embarrassed to allow me to hug him!). He made a good friend that first day of school and when the day was done, I heard about how well he had done and he proudly showed me his work.

Kai's first day of school

Since then, he has had some harder days at school, but mostly good days. I was expecting him to fight going, and he has not had a single day where he has complained about having to get ready for school. He has shown he really can't be trusted with scissors. He cut his own hair one day, and then cut two other kids' hair - the teacher's daughter and the Principal's son! I swear I can't make this stuff up! He has had a problem on the playground with another child and kicked him in the stomach. When I picked him up that day, he was convinced he was getting kicked out of school. He was so scared of telling Dad on the way home he was crying... something he just doesn't do very often at all.

The biggest scare was one day when he left school without waiting for me to pick him up at the end of the day. He had had a really good day but decided to just walk home by himself. His teacher and I were running all over the building looking for him, inside and outside, the secretary was paging him (although he would not have understood what she was saying), and eventually the principal mobilized all the staff to search outside and inside with walkie-talkies. My heart was in my throat as it hit me that I really had no idea what he might do - get on a bus, get in a car with someone, wander into the woods, or just walk away on the road. I raced home to find him on the back porch looking in the doorwall. He had knocked on the front door, rung the bell and went around back. I have no idea what his next step would have been if I had not arrived right then. So scary. The crazy thing is, he was not worried at all. I got a big "Hi Mama!" and a smile and a hug like nothing was wrong. Needless to say, I marched him back to the school (where Abigail and Paul were waiting) and we had a talk with his teacher and the principal. Yikes. I am so thankful that he was safe in my arms at the end of that day.

Language is coming along really well for him. He has about 110 words that he knows in English now, which amazes me. He is starting to lose his Chinese, which frustrates him. He chatters away at us in Chinese and then will suddenly not remember a word and just can't get it. It makes me sad that he is losing it, but I know that realistically, learning to be a family and being in school take precedence over keeping the Chinese right now. We manage to understand each other pretty well, between Chinese/English mixes and some help from pantomime and Google Translate. It's amazing to me that we know as much of what he is thinking and telling us as we do.

He is working hard in school now, and getting along pretty well with most of the kids in his class. He is cheerfully helping out at home, and eats SO MUCH. Seriously, meals that would have served our family of four twice now barely make it through one dinner. I have started to cook portions for 8 people, Kai eats so much. He doesn't make himself sick, but he is always hungry. I'm still not sure when it is that he is a growing boy and when it is stemming from not having enough food in China.

Kai doesn't really play with toys at all, even though he has his own now. Even the yo-yo that was so important to him in China has been put away and doesn't come out. Electronics are his preferred form of entertainment, as well as physical games and activities with other kids. I think toys were just not a part of his life in China. He is learning to make his own choices about things too. Something as simple as coloring a picture was foreign to him. He would just scribble all over the page. I realized at one point that he simply didn't know he could choose what color to put where on the page - he felt he needed to know exactly what color the reindeer was supposed to be. I think he had never learned it was okay to be creative. He also really struggles with spatial orientation. Something like putting a simple puzzle together completely stumps him. To draw a triangle, he draws a straight line and turns the paper for each side of the triangle. And yet this same child can make a bed so fast, sweep the floor and wipe the tables really well. He is so old and so young in so many ways.

Attachment is coming along slowly but surely. He is coming to me to get most of his needs met. He tells me things that he doesn't tell his teacher, like the fact that his socks are soaking wet from playing in the snow. He asks me for food and comes to me for affection. He also freely tattles on his brother and sister to Ryan and I! We are still getting lots of hugs and I love yous, but now they are appropriate and not so desperate. He tells us he likes being in our family and that he does not miss Xuzhou, just the food a little bit. We see his anxiety about being abandoned pop up occasionally, particularly if Ryan takes just Kai somewhere (like for a haircut). Nightmares have slowed down, but there are nights where he is very restless and yelling in his sleep. Overall, things are progressing more quickly than I had expected in attachment areas. He is starting to push and test us more - some backtalk in Chinese and sneaking around after being told not to do something, but for the most part, it's been pretty tame. I expect that to get worse before it gets better!

So there you have it, the nitty gritty about our last two months. It seems like there is so much more, but honestly my brain can't filter it all right now - I am definitely struggling with "mommy brain" more now!

I am so thankful for what God is doing in this process. We moved forward with adopting Kai out of faith, trusting that the Lord would meet our needs in it. I can honestly say that even though it has been a much harder journey than when we adopted Paul, God has been faithful. He has put the right people in my life to speak encouragement and light into the dark, fear-filled moments. He has protected our marriage in the midst of the huge stressors going on around us. We have been blessed with faithful friends who fed us for the entire first month home, and others who have literally clothed Kai with their hand-me-downs. Our family has welcomed Kai with open arms and loved on him (and the rest of us!) with grace and commitment. I never imagined that we would one day be bringing home a seven year old boy from China, and I am so very thankful to be entrusted with the gift of this precious child.

Speech Graduation Day!!

2012-01-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

Paul has achieved a new milestone with his hearing and language development. He was officially discharged from speech services! He has been hearing for almost 2.5 years now with his cochlear implants, so if he was speaking like a 2.5 year old, he would still be on target... instead my amazing boy is virtually all caught up with his peers! He still has random errors that he makes, but they are not consistent enough for therapy. What a rock star! His therapist gave him an awesome pirate ship to celebrate. It was a special and exciting day for him.

I am so humbled and thankful for the privilege of being on this journey with Paul. We are so blessed to call him ours.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2012-01-23T10:22:00.000-05:00

We had so much fun celebrating the Year of the Dragon this weekend! We enjoyed a CNY party on Saturday put on by our local FCC group, with tons of yummy food, a lion dance, Tai Chi demonstrations, singing, and crafts for the kids. On Sunday we had Grandma and Grandpa over for dinner where we feasted some more, and finished with a dragon cake! Lots of fun all around, and Kai especially enjoyed it all.

Visiting Santa

2011-12-24T22:08:00.001-05:00

We headed out to a local tree farm to visit Santa last night, and had such a great time! We started out with a ride in a covered wagon through the woods, past live reindeer. The wagon took us to a small historical log cabin, where Santa was waiting on the porch to greet us. We followed him into the cozy cabin where the kids each had a turn to talk with Santa and tell him their Christmas wish. After our visit with Santa we enjoyed hot cocoa and roasting marshmallows around a fire outside of the cabin while we waited for the wagon to come back for us.

The kids really loved the whole evening. Kai was so excited when I told him we were going to see Santa, but was quite nervous about it when we were there - he jumped out of his skin when Santa let out a big "ho ho ho!" from the porch! I asked Kai if he has ever celebrated Christmas before, and he said they had special food on Christmas at the orphanage, but he has never received gifts. Interestingly, he did say he knows who Jesus is, and he definitely knows about Santa. What gift to have him home with us this year for Christmas!

Ready for Christmas: In Pictures

2011-12-18T08:20:00.000-05:00

Abigail's greatest concern was that we would not get the tree up in time... but we managed!

I think this was Kai's first time decorating a Christmas tree - he was so excited.

Paul had a story about every single ornament he put on the tree.

Kai does not have his own ornaments yet, so Abigail make him his very own to hang up. What a great sister!

My four loves!!

A new stocking on the mantel - Kai was so excited to have his name on it.

Looking good in their Chinese "silks"

I am the luckiest mom in the world!

Hong Kong and Home

2011-12-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

We took the train from Guangzhou to Hong Kong, which was a great experience. It was a much nicer way to travel rather than another airplane ride, much quieter and easier. Our hotel room at the YMCA had an amazing view of the harbor. We arrived just in time to see the laser light show they put on every night. Beautiful.

This is how my three beautiful kids spent their first afternoon together - out in the snow! KaiYu thought putting on all the snow gear was hysterical, and had a great time in the snow with his siblings. Abigail and Paul loved having him with them too. Things have gone really well with the three of them so far.

Last night KaiYu asked to go to bed at 6:45pm, and he slept very well. I was asleep by 7:45 and got a pretty decent night of sleep myself. Paul and KaiYu are up now watching Curious George snuggled up together on the couch. I'm drinking good coffee and enjoying a reliable and fast internet connection. Life is good :)

Home

2011-12-01T14:54:00.000-05:00

We have arrived home safely. Abigail and Paul have welcomed KaiYu joyfully, and my three beautiful children are playing together happily now. It feels wonderful to have us all together at last. I am praising God today for the completion of something started so many months ago, and trusting Him for the next steps on this journey.

White Swan Red Couch Photos

2011-11-29T08:05:00.000-05:00

The location for these photos is traditional... the boy is not! KaiYu had a fun time hamming it up for pictures in the lobby of the White Swan hotel.

Safari Park & Consulate Appointment

2011-11-28T23:34:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful day at the Safari Park yesterday - it was a full day, and was really fun. Several families from our travel group went. We rode on a train through the safari park, where the animals literally came right up to the cars, it was just amazing. Then we spent the rest of the day walking through the park. Because it was Monday, the place was quite empty and we got to see everything we wanted to see, from endangered white tigers, to pandas. They have a beautiful animal nursery as well, so we got to see lots of baby animals. The whole park was clean and the animals looked well cared for, which is not what I've heard about most zoos in China. We watched the white tiger show, and I was all nerves with only two trainers in the cage with 15 tigers. (And really, the cage did not look tall enough to keep those tigers in... a travelmate reminded me that there were several "tasty morsels" between the tigers and us, since we were in the back row!)

KaiYu rode carnival rides with Baba, only to later tell us that dad spun him too fast in the teacup ride and gave him a headache! He loved the bumper cars. It was a really fun day, and I am so glad we got to do it. I kept missing Abigail and Paul though, as I know they would have loved it.

This morning we had our appointment at the American Consulate for the last bit of paperwork for Kai's visa. We will pick it all up tomorrow and get on the train to Hong Kong for a night on our way home. We are in the home stretch, and while I am not looking forward to the flight and jetlag, I can't wait to be home.

Starbucks Review

2011-11-27T06:36:00.000-05:00

Carla gives her Vanilla Latte two thumbs up...

Ryan's hot chocolate gets a thumbs up as well...

KaiYu gives his hot chocolate a shocking thumbs down (after eating the whipped cream)...
We have work to do, I think!

Nice Day Out

2011-11-27T02:34:00.001-05:00

Today's blog post is brought to you by Ryan :)

Today was a fun day. Guangzhou today is toasty warm with lots of sunshine. A perfect day to visit the Chen Family Temple. This was a great stop when we were here with Paul in 2009. Lots of interesting art work, architecture, and history. Kai had fun watching an artist create some chops for people. He thought that was much more interesting than beds and chairs from several hundred years ago. To be honest, I enjoyed watching the process alot also. After a stop at the pearl market we headed over to the island. We had a great lunch at Jordon's, great sesame chicken and dumplings. We headed back to the hotel where Kai crashed into bed for a nap with a bit of a headache. Hopefully the rest will help him to feel better. This evening might be a simple dinner around the hotel. Tomorrow we are planning to venture out to the safari zoo with several other families from our group. It has been great to be around other families. Kai also seems to be enjoying a couple of the babies. He is very gentle with them and has a knack for making them smile.

Kai at the front door of the Chen Family Temple

Kai getting some hugs from Mom on the bus

Watching the making of chops with intense interest

First Plane Ride

2011-11-26T07:10:00.002-05:00

Kai's first plane ride was thrilling for him - he fought Ryan for the window seat!

Medical Exam

2011-11-26T02:10:00.000-05:00

We had a very restful night of sleep in our SOFT beds, and woke up to an amazing breakfast buffet. Kai was amazed that the tooth fairy did indeed come last night, and he found money under his pillow. I guess he has heard of the tooth fairy before, and tried putting a tooth under his bed in the orphanage, but she didn't find it there.

There are many adoptive families in our hotel, and we've also been reunited with our travel group from Beijing. It's been so nice to chat with other adults and Kai has been playing with some of the babies. He is still shy with the older children so far.

At his medical exam

Our group headed to Shamian Island this morning for the medical exam required for Kai's visa. Kai was withdrawn and kind of grumpy, but I think that may have been partly because I gave him some Bendadryl for his cold this morning. He did fine until it was time for the TB test. He freaked out, fighting, screaming and sobbing. Ryan could hardly hold him down, and the nurse said to wait until we could get a doctor to help. All of this from a child who has not shown us a moment of grief or fear since we met. I was a mess, and could hardly keep from sobbing myself, as I so wished we didn't have to make him do it. While we waited, another little girl from our group had her turn, and then Kai marched right over and sat down with his arm out and had his shot without any tears at all. It was amazing. Needless to say, he got praised, hugged and kissed like crazy and all the candy he wanted for that!

Afterwards we headed over to a Thai restaurant, the Cow and Bridge for lunch. Ryan has been waiting to eat there again since we were here in 2009 for Paul... it did not disappoint!

The Cow & Bridge

Enjoying his Chicken Cashew with Chili Paste... wish you were here Matt & JoEllen!

We are back at the hotel room for a rest time before we meet up with our guide for more paperwork today. We heard there is a very nice park about 5 minutes from our hotel, so we may wander out there later. It's great to be in Guangzhou, and in the final leg of this journey.

Hello, Guangzhou

2011-11-25T09:44:00.001-05:00

We made it safely to Guangzhou and are settled into our hotel. The beds are indeed soft, as promised, and KaiYu is snoring away. He thoroughly enjoyed his first plane ride and was giddy with the excitement of it all. Little does he know how long the plane ride home will be:)

Tomorrow is the Medical Exam on Shamian Island at 10am. He will have to have a TB test which I think involves being poked, but we have a waiver for the rest of the immunizations, so that should be all.

So glad to be in Guangzhou and with other families - there were two other families on the plane with us, the family we had Thanksgiving with and another. I think the days will go by faster here.

I'm off to sleep in my SOFT bed!

Singing to Kai at rest time

2011-11-25T01:27:00.001-05:00

It's out!

2011-11-24T23:05:00.000-05:00

KaiYu just lost his tooth and is very excited! Now we will find out if the tooth fairy visits kids in China...

Thanksgiving Pictures

2011-11-24T21:38:00.000-05:00

Riding the glass elevator at the mall was just thrilling!

Thanksgiving dinner at McDonalds

Kai wanted a picture of the digger. I'm posting it for Paul, who I know will love it and the crane!

Confucious Temple

Thanksgiving in China

2011-11-24T21:29:00.000-05:00

We celebrated Thanksgiving by meeting up with another American family here in Nanjing, which was such a blessing. We wandered around trying to pick a good place to eat in the mall, and finally settled on McDonald's with the consensus that chicken nuggets and fries were as close as we could get to turkey and potatoes. And McD's is certainly all-American! It was balm to our weary souls to fellowship with other believers, to encourage and be encouraged. Our God is certainly on the move in the Church on behalf of the orphan, and it's wonderful to see other families being formed. As amazing as it is, it is still hard...sometimes very hard...and it was so good to be reminded of the truth that healing takes time, and that our God is able to redeem all things for His purposes. I am so thankful we serve a mighty God and compassionate Father. Ryan and I were reminding each other in the midst of some of the hard things with Kai, that this is not about us, as much as we are self-focused. This is about God bringing glory to himself through his work in our lives and especially in Kai's life. It's good to remember the big picture when the small things threaten to swallow us up.

After dinner we happened upon an awesome Chinese drum show in the mall, which KaiYu LOVED. We stayed and watched for quite a while before heading back to the hotel for a shower and bed. He slept well last night, without bad dreams, and slept in a bit this morning. I've been busy packing us up for our flight to Guangzhou this afternoon. It will be good to get to a hotel that I've heard has soft beds (!) and be with other families. GZ is also full of nice places to walk around and parks, which will help to fill our days.

We did get to Skype with the kids with a good connection this morning, which was so nice. I miss them terribly. They are having a great time with Oma and Grandpa and family, and I am so thankful for that.

Kai is trying to imitate more English each day, but he still won't use it in public. Our guide asked him about being so shy in public, and he told her people have been saying to him in public that he just wants to be like an American when he's with us. I told him that he will always be Chinese, and always have China in his heart. How I wish I could speak Chinese to him! Our family will always have a strong connection to the amazing country, and I hope our boys will be proud of their heritage.

Confucious Market

2011-11-23T20:16:00.000-05:00

We spent the morning yesterday shopping in the market outside of the temple behind our hotel. Our guide helped us to find some of the brocade that this area is known for, as well as a special type of rock called "Rose Flower" that is found only in this area, from the bed of the river. After we wandered there, and looked at the statues of famous scholars who passed their examinations here, we headed to Walmart to find some pants with a smaller waist for KaiYu. We picked up lunch there and then spent most of the afternoon in the hotel room, except for a quick walk to the market again. Kai seems to strongly prefer just being in the hotel room. As active as he is, when we are out with him, he is very quiet, especially if our guide is not with us. I don't know if he is worried about us leaving him, or if he is afraid we don't know what we are doing since we can't talk to people around us (maybe it's embarrassing to a seven year old to have his parents use the picture menu at a restaurant?) So we spent a long time playing card games, watching TV and trying to stay entertained in the room.
Today our guide will be picking up Kai's passport and paperwork, and we will go to see the Confucious temple with her as well. Things continue to go very well. It's hard to peel back the layers of KaiYu and see what is defense mechanisms, orphanage behavior, or cultural differeneces, and what is the real child within all of that. It will take a lot of time. He is still very happy all the time, sometimes almost manic. He did not sleep as well last night, was really restless again and talking in his sleep. It could be that he is still not feeling good from his cold, or I strongly suspect it's stress and grief. Ryan and I are doing well. Ryan is still coughing a bit, but the air quality here is terrible, so I think that is affecting us both. We are trying to stay energized and patient, but honestly, it's a bit lonely here without other adults to really talk to. Tonight we will be celebrating Thanksgiving with another American family we just met, so we are looking forward to that.
Thank you again for your prayers, and for all of the encouraging words in the comments -it means so much to us, and really helps a lot! God is so good, and we are so blessed. We have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving day.

More Pictures

2011-11-23T01:42:00.001-05:00

Walking in to meet us for the first time. The man in front of him was his school teacher.

At the Nanjing City Wall

First dinner together at KFC... not sure if he likes the coffee float that he picked off of the picture menu, but he drank it

Nanjing City Wall

2011-11-23T01:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday after the adoption finalization we toured the Nanjing City Wall, which is the largest city wall in the world. It was gorgeous weather, and really neat to see some of the amazing history of the city that was once China's capitol. Kai really had fun running around on the wall, and Ryan and I saw a part of the city that we could really appreciate the beauty of. It was a great way to spend the afternoon.

We did find out that Kai does not like pizza at all. He faked it pretty well through our pepperoni pizza from Papa John's, giving us a thumbs up and a smile. But then when our guide asked him what he thought, he said, "I'm not really sure I should say..."!! We have told him he can give things a things a thumbs down and we will get him something else to eat instead. Needless to say, we had fried rice for dinner :)

He slept really well last night and went to bed without any problems. I have to admit that I actually went to bed before he did at 8pm. I was worn out! He woke up cheerful this morning and told us he was very hungry... he ate a ton of food at breakfast. We met up with our guide and walked through the market near here then went to Walmart to find either a belt or pants with a smaller waist for him, as he is a stick. We've been hanging out in our room since lunch, and we'll probably head out to the fountain show later and find something for dinner. The afternoon's entertainment has been the yo yo he picked out at Walmart. He is having so much fun with it, and constantly says thank you to us for it. He is also starting to feel a little bit better from his cold.

We found out from our agency today that visiting the orphanage will be very expensive, so I don't think we are going to do it. We did ask Kai what he wanted to do, and he said he already said his goodbye's to everyone there and it's okay to not go back. I have mixed feelings about it, but with all the video we have already, I feel that he does have enough to remember it all by.

The internet has been sketchy here, so I am having a hard time posting too many pictures. We have really been having a great time getting to know Kai, and he loves Skyping with our family when we have a good connection. He asks about everyone's pictures in the photo album and is working hard to remember who everyone is. I think he is very excited to meet the rest of the family.

We are seeing a calmer boy today. He still has a lot of energy, but is not quite a manic with his laughter and bouncing around. He is also doing better at realizing that when we try to reign him in, we mean it, but still seeks a lot of hugs and reassurance when we have to do that. I think we are making good progress with connecting with his heart, but I am praying that the truth of his security and safety with us will sink in. He has good reason to believe his standing with us could be temporary, and I think we will have a long road to him understanding that family is forever. I am so grateful for so many of you who are praying faithfully for us. It is a privilege to be here and to be entrusted with such a sweet boy. I am praying we will steward this opportunity well.

2011-11-21T21:13:00.002-05:00

Getting to know Kai Yu

2011-11-21T20:59:00.000-05:00

Last night was a good night. Kai is very energetic, and had a hard time settling down. He had several layers of clothes on, and was really hot, but didn't take any layers off until we made him change into pjs. He told us that he had a headache and his nose was bothering him - he has a fresh cold, it seems. He eventually fell into a restless sleep about 10pm, and was talking in his sleep all night, saying Mama and Baba. He woke up and called to me a few times too, but stayed calm and went right back to sleep.

He is a very smart boy. When we met him yesterday, he showed us the one thing he had chosen to bring with him from the orphanage that was special to him - a math test that he had gotten a perfect score on. He also had lots of video on the camera we sent to him of him at school with his teacher and friends. He had math class, painting, singing, Chinese and gymnastics. He is a very good student. He is anxious to teach us Chinese, and to learn English and American sign language.

He readily told us about his friends at the orphanage, and was excited to hear about his best friend, Jai Lai (now Lincoln) who was adopted this summer by an American family. What a blessing to be able to tell him that I "know" Lincoln's mama and he can hear how well his friend is doing!

After his shower, he asked me to dry his hair and style it so it was sticking up - he and Paul will have fun doing their hair together (not something I ever thought I'd be writing about my sons!) He has a loose tooth too, that is hanging by a string.

He loves to be silly. He eats like it's his last meal. He chatters away at us even though he knows we don't understand him. He is fascinated with the hair on Ryan's arms, and keeps pointing out how big Baba's nose is (he told us he knows that all Americans have big noses!) He is very affectionate, giving lots of hugs, kisses and I love yous often.

He was very well prepared to meet us, and it is so obvious that he is delighted to have a family of his own. This morning when we signed all the final adoption papers, he had to put his thumbprint down as his signature - he was jumping up and down and giggling with excitement (he does that a lot!)

We are just scratching the surface in getting to know him, but I already love him so much. We have a long road ahead in adjusting to this new life together, but by God's grace, we will do it as a family.

2011-11-21T15:44:00.000-05:00

2011-11-21T05:22:00.002-05:00

Introducing KaiYu!

2011-11-21T05:17:00.001-05:00

We met KaiYu, and it has been wonderful! The day could not have been more amazing. We arrived at the Civil Affairs office early, and knew that he and the orphanage director would be arriving shortly, so we were able to watch him walking up through the window. He saw us and immediately started smiling and waving. Once he got through the door, he ran up to me and crashed into me with a HUGE hug, saying Mama, followed by hugs for Baba as well. No fear at all, just like he had been away for a while and was happy to see us. Just amazing.

We had a chance to ask many questions of the director, as well as the orphanage worker who took him to public school every day. He has been happy and talkative, not shy at all. He is very active, but repectful of adults. Our guide had a chance to ask him about his past, and we got a story very different than what we were expecting - life has not been easy for our son. It was hard to hear, but gave us a full picture of where he's coming from.

After our appointment we came back to the hotel (and found out he's never seen a hotel before), where he played with balloons with Ryan and showed us his favorite TV shows while I did paperwork with the guide. Kai took a shower, got changed into his new clothes, and was ready to go We had dinner at KFC at his request and are now back in the hotel room where he is watching another show, dancing to the theme song and telling us all the Chinese words for things in the room.

He is very affectionate, and we are getting a lot of pointing and naming, Mama, Baba, KaiYu. Lots of hugs and kisses, and I love you's in English. Amazingly enough, he was learning some sign language in school and taught us the Chinese sign language for I Love you as soon as we explained that Paul is deaf.

He is VERY excited about his brother and sister, and wondered where they are. We hope we will be able to Skype with them sometime soon, so he can "meet" them.

We are so thankful for all the prayers. God is so good, and today has been easier than I even dared to imagine. He did tell us he is afraid of the dark, so we will see how the night goes.

There is so much more to say, but that will have to be it for now, as my newest son wants to play with me!!! To God be the glory!

I'm having trouble uploading pictures, so I'll try to do that in a separate post.

Fully Convinced

2011-11-20T23:24:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about meeting Kai today, and in the midst of my excitement, God has been whispering truth to me.

I am fully convinced that the Lord who began this good work in our lives will be faithful to finish it.

I know that He defends the fatherless, and sets the lonely in families. He knows the number of hairs on Kai's head, knows his every need, and has a good plan for his life. I don't have to be perfect, because my Father is perfect, and His perfection will cover all my imperfections.

In my weakness, Christ is made strong, and He is glorified.

I am certain that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I know that perfect love casts out all fear, and that of faith, hope, and love, the greatest is love.

God can, and will, work all things for the good of those who love Him. He will never leave me or forsake me.

We love, because He first loved us.

We are off to go love on our son.

In Nanjing

2011-11-20T05:16:00.000-05:00

We have arrived in Nanjing, the city where we will meet Kai. Our flight was delayed this morning, but we arrived before lunch. We went to the bank and exchanged money for the orphanage donation and provincial legal fees. We also walked around the area our hotel is in, a popular tourist destination, and found the local grocery store, some restaurants and a Starbucks.

We had enough free time this evening to get our room organized, and I finally feel close to settled, at least for a few days. To be honest, the jet lag is kicking my butt this time around, and I was ready to go to bed at four this afternoon... I don't remember it being this hard last time!

We've been told that our appointment time to meet Kai is now at 2 pm tomorrow instead of in the morning, because his train ride is so long. I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep tonight so I can be fully engaged with Kai tomorrow.... I am so excited to hug that boy!

Beijing

2011-11-19T15:34:00.001-05:00

We started our touring day in Beijing with an amazing breakfast buffet at the hotel. We met up with our travel group of 5 other families and headed out to Tianamen Square first. It was amazing how crowded it was already at 8:30 in the morning. We headed across the square and into the Forbidden City. It was beautiful! It's amazingly ornate, and huge. We walked through it for three hours, and barely scratched the surface of all there is to see inside. It was very windy and cold, so it was nice to sit in the van for an hour after that on our way to lunch at the jade factory. We watched a master carver working on some intricate "family ball" pieces and then had a traditional multicourse Chinese lunch before heading to the Great Wall. It was the same section of the wall we were at last time, and it was still just as impressive. Ryan tried to make it all the way to the top again (I'm not that crazy), but we ran out of time before our group had to meet up. We drove through the Olympic Village and by the Water Cube and Bird's Nest on our way back to the hotel, and then had a quick dinner at a local hot pot restaurant nearby. We managed to Skype with the kids briefly and then collaped into bed. It was a really fun day, and I am so glad we got to see some of China's national marvels. Originally we had considered doing Beijing at the end of the trip with Kai, so he could see it, but I am glad we didn't do that. The day was physically demanding, very cold and I think it would have been a bit boring for him. For us it was a nice way to start to get acclimated to the time change and to fight jet lag. We leave on a morning flight to Nanjing. It's hard to believe we are only a day away from meeting Kai. I realized that we are on the same time zone as him now, and it was strange to think of him going about his day like usual when we are SO CLOSE to him. I can't wait to meet him. So many of the other parents in our travel group are a bundle of nerves and are so anxious about meeting their child. I have to say that I have just had an overwhelming sense of peace with ours, and I know it is the result of all you faithful friends praying for us. I have no doubt we are exactly where God wants us to be.

Awake

2011-11-18T19:39:00.000-05:00

Life is a bit more clear today! We managed to get a few hours of sleep in before it was time to get moving again today. We are sitting in the lobby of the hotel in Beijing waiting for our group to assemble for the day. We will tour the Forbidden City first, which Ryan and I missed last time. The weather is good, a nice change from the rain last night. We were able to Skype with the kids this morning, and they are having a blast with Oma. Ryan is doing well health wise, so we are thankful for answered prayer with that. Hopefully these posts are coming through as I'm emailing them in instead of connecting to Blogger. I'll post about our adventures later!

We are here

2011-11-18T11:32:00.001-05:00

We have arrived safely at our hotel in Beijing, after a smooth but very LONG flight. We have an early day tomorrow, so we're going to try to grab a few hours sleep before daylight hits!

Leaving on a jet plane...

2011-11-17T06:47:00.000-05:00

I am very thankful to report that Ryan is well enough to get on that plane with me tonight. Thank you so much for your prayers - we had so many people praying! That, combined with tons of vitamins, an antibiotic and every other over the counter medicine we could get into him, seems to have helped enough that Ryan is functional and just has cold symptoms. He is getting worn out quickly, but we can deal with that. And he'll have a 16 hour flight to just rest on tonight!

Our bags are packed, the kids are excited, and I think we are as ready as we are going to be. I keep reminding myself that the most important things are our paperwork, passports and the money we need for adoption fees - the rest we can either replace or do without. So hopefully we have everything, but I admit, my brain does not seem to be working correctly.

I can't believe that after all this waiting it is finally time to go bring our son home. I'm praying that he is well prepared, and that he will have peace. It's going to be hard to not just grab him up in a bear hug though! God is so good, and I am so thankful He began us on this journey to Kai.

I'll try to post from Beijing, but we are getting in really late and getting up early the next morning, so sleep may take precedence!

Ack!!!!

2011-11-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

We are leaving in less than 48 hrs and Ryan is upstairs in bed with chills... not good timing for whatever bug he has to hit! The kids and I have all had a cold with a cough, but no fever, so I don't know if that's what Ryan now has, or if it's something else entirely. He saw the doctor this morning, before he had chills, and she gave him an antibiotic for "just in case" he needed it - so he's started that, and I am praying that he recovers really fast.

So please pray for Ryan's health, and that I won't get anything new from him either! We will have to go through temperature scans too in order to be allowed into China once we land, so fever is an especially bad thing to have right now...

I'm trying to stay calm and not freak out.

Itinerary

2011-11-11T12:23:00.000-05:00

Our travel plans are falling into place, and the time to get on that plane is getting much closer! We finally have our official itinerary:

11/17 Leave at 8pm on a direct flight to Beijing, where we will arrive at 11pm on 11/18
11/19 Full day of touring in Beijing - Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and the Great Wall
11/20 Fly to Nanjing
11/21 Meet KaiYu at 10am!!!!
11/22 Finalize the adoption paperwork at the Provincial Affairs office
11/23 Shopping
11/24 Sightseeing tour to Fuzi Temple
11/25 Pick up KaiYu's passport and fly to Guangzhou
11/26 Visa photo, medical exam and TB test for Kai
11/27 Sightseeing tour to Chen Family Temple
11/28 Get TB test results
11/29 Oath-taking ceremony at American Consulate
11/30 Pick up Kai's visa from the Consulate, train to Hong Kong
12/1 Direct flight from Hong Kong, land at 12:30pm and KaiYu beomes an American citizen!

It still doesn't seem real, that we will be meeting our newest son in 10 days. I hope that he is being prepared for it all, but I really don't think there is any way a seven year old can understand what is about to happen. I would have been so scared at his age - heck, I'm nervous about it all even now, and I'm the grown up!

There will be so many hurdles - dealing with the language issue will be one of the most immediate, but we know there are a lot of potentially very difficult days ahead. We are praying that we will see God's faithfulness in it all. Please pray for peace for all of us as we head into this unknown territory. We know God has led us here, but it's still nerve-wracking when we sit still long enough to really think about it all.

When I think about how this sweet boy who is all alone in this world will soon have a family of his very own, it gives me chills... Nobody should have to go through what he has, but I can't wait to wrap my arms around him and call him "mine".

What I'm Doing Instead

2011-11-08T12:46:00.000-05:00

We've made it through Halloween, and now I should be busy booking tours, packing our bags and making progress on my to-do list... after all, we are leaving to bring home Kai in only 9 DAYS!!!

Instead, I've spent an hour today browsing through Tiny Prints huge selection of photo Christmas cards! I got it into my head that it would be a great idea to have our Christmas cards all picked out, formatted, and ready to go, so that all I have to do is drop in a picture and hit "order" and I'll be done. Given that we will be getting off the plane from China on 12/1 and I expect that I will be in no shape to be taking care of Christmas stuff for a few weeks at least, that sounded like a good plan.

The problem now is trying to decide exactly which card I want to go with. This is our first Christmas with three kids, one of whom I haven't met yet, so it presents some new challenges.

Do I go with a single picture of all three kids?

Or individual pictures of each of them?

Or is it better to cover all the bases and pick a card with six pictures in it?

And then you add the name thing to the issue - will KaiYu be going by Kai, or KaiYu or David? What do I put for his name??

Suddenly, I don't feel like I am really making as much progress as I thought with being ahead of the game!

If you however want to give it your best shot, here is the link to Tiny Prints Christmas card selection - maybe you'll be better at making your decisions than I am!

I'm off to spend more time studying all of the cards and trying to come up with my favorite...I'm leaning towards the cool tri-fold style right now... and I know I'll be glad I got this done when I get off the plane from China in a few weeks!

Halloween

2011-11-06T20:11:00.000-05:00

This year's Halloween celebration was a bit more quiet at our house than usual. Instead of going trick or treating with friends, Ryan took the kids by himself while I passed out candy. Abigail and Paul had a great time and managed to bring home some very full buckets of candy, with Paul lamenting about how heavy his was to carry. Yeah, it's a rough life.

Abigail wanted to make her own costume this year, so she designed and crafted her own "Nature Princess" outfit - a dress with waves and feathers on it, a headband with butterflies and flowers and leopard print gloves. She was surprised nobody could guess what she was :)

Paul went as Captain America and had fun telling everyone to feel his muscles, while giggling like a fiend every time.

They made it going house to house for about an hour before they dragged themselves home and stuffed their bellies with candy. I think they would both agree it was a good Halloween.

TA!

2011-10-25T14:01:00.000-04:00

We got our Travel Approval today - finally!!!

Hoping to leave 11/17, as long as we can get all of our provincial and consulate appointments to line up right.

We are coming, Kai!!! SOON!

Done Fighting

2011-10-10T15:27:00.000-04:00

Life has been full of fighting right now.

Insurance issues again - denial of eligibility for Paul for speech services, saying that it's not medically necessary (never mind the fact that he's deaf and learning to speak).

Cochlear implant problems, with FMs not working, an internal device recall scare, faulty processors having to be sent back for repairs, as well as mysterious intermittent problems that nobody knows the solution to. I spend a significant amount of time each day troubleshooting equipment and explaining it all to multiple people involved with Paul's day.

Paul's beloved Auditory Verbal therapist will not be returning after her maternity leave... and we don't know if there will be room on the team's schedule for him. After two years, we may suddenly find ourselves on our own with Paul's speech/language progress - a terrifying prospect.

Abigail's gym teacher doesn't believe me that her surgeon really did restrict her that much after her heel cord lengthening, despite the fact that she has it in writing from the surgeon himself.

Paperwork delays for Kai's adoption, some from our agency, some from the US government, and some just bad timing with Chinese holidays and office closings have put us a few weeks later in our travel than expected. No matter how hard I push, they say there is nothing they can do.

Unexpected post-placement fees (for five years!) that have added thousands to our adoption costs, and a complete unwillingness to budge from our agency.

Even a garbage disposer that died and washing machine that leaked all over within minutes of each other.

I am tired.

Tired of fighting. Tired of trying to discern when I am supposed to be advocating, pushing, fighting injustice or when I am just plain being impatient.

And yesterday, God reminded me...

I do not need to fight.

HE will fight for me, for my family.

He knows when it's injustice, and when it's His perfect timing.

He is my Warrior God, the Lord God Almighty, for whom nothing is impossible (Amos 4:13). He commands the angels, and He orchestrates my days.

He is also my loving Savior, the One who told me to come to Him and rest. That His yoke is easy and His burden light. (Matt. 11:30)

How could I have forgotten???

He's been whispering His love and care to me the past few weeks, in several different ways.

A complimentary meal at a restaurant, an unexpected financial gift, a generous loan, a neighbor fixing electrical issues, old friends calling to check in, new friends with language skills or life experiences to offer us.

Yesterday, He shouted His reminders to me, since I've been too caught up in the fight to really hear Him. And I am so glad I finally heard.

Happy Birthday, Paul!

2011-10-09T17:40:00.000-04:00

I'm late to the party... but the party was on time for our boy! He turned five, and found it tremendously fun to tell everyone that he is older than his cousin (even though he has several years on her, it still mattered more on his birthday, for some reason!)

We kicked it all off with a surprise visit from Oma and Grandpa to build their gift to him.
He helped Grandpa with the screws...

Abigail helped Oma with the swings...

And the new playset has been in steady use ever since!

Look, ma, I'm upside down!

Big smiles and big fun.

The party the next day was attended by family and close friends, with a "Cars 2" theme per Paul's request. He loved the cake Grandma made.

Mmmm... can't resist that frosting!

Cousins - Abigail, Paul & Hanna

Blake, Abigail, Paul, Sara & Sydney

Happy Birthday, to my favorite five year old boy in the world!

More pictures!

2011-09-22T20:49:00.000-04:00

I guess God knew that I needed more pictures of my boy to get me through the next several weeks of our wait! I was so happy to find these in my inbox tonight. KaiYu doesn't look too thrilled in them - gotta love that fake smile! I think we will have a very shy boy on our hands. I hope he'll warm up to us quickly.

DaYu

2011-09-15T11:02:00.000-04:00

DaYu... that's what we're told from the most recent update that KaiYu prefers to be called, it's his nickname in the orphanage. I don't think it's a coincidence then that the name we have picked out for him is KaiYu David! God is in the details, and it's reassuring to see that His hand is still all over this adoption.

It made my day to get this update today... I love seeing his sweet smile!

We're told he started school on Sept. 1st, which is great. He is well liked and has two best friends in the orphanage. He is very clever and smart. His favorite foods are potatoes, steamed stuffed buns and meat, and his favorite color is white. He is looking forward to the love of parents and warmth of a family, but is nervous about not being able to communicate well due to the language barrier. He is 54" tall and weighs 66 lbs.

Care Package for KaiYu

2011-08-28T16:42:00.000-04:00

We had the opportunity to send a care package to KaiYu last week, and got these pictures of him. We were told that he was very excited to get the things we sent him, and that he is a sweet, shy, curious and smart young man. I can't wait to hug him in person, but for now, it's enough to know we can bring a smile to his face by sending him some love.

LSC!

2011-08-12T20:43:00.000-04:00

We got our Letter Seeking Confirmation today, which is our official referral for KaiYu! This means that they have reviewed our dossier and the still think that we are suitable parents for Kai after seeing the nitty-gritty of our lives. It's a big hurdle in the paperwork, as this is the piece of paper that is the most variable in the time line. From here on out, it should be pretty straight forward, and we expect we will be traveling to get Kai sometime in late November. We are so excited!

The next steps now are mailing off our immigration paperwork on the US end of things and once we have that, then China will issue our Travel Approval saying we can come and get our boy.

We had some Chinese friends who watched the video of Kai this weekend, and they told us that he is following prompts to say I love you Mom & Dad (which we knew), but that he also adds, "Come and get me quickly" on his own to that... we're coming, my sweet boy, we're coming...

LID!!

2011-06-28T14:58:00.000-04:00

We got our official Log In Date for our dossier today! We sent it all off on 6/17 and our LID is 6/22 - one step closer to KaiYu!

We are told we will travel anywhere from 4-9 months from our LID. So I'm thinking it's very possible that we will have him home by the end of the year - that's what we are praying for now.

40 Years of Happily Ever After

2011-06-27T20:40:00.000-04:00

Mom and Dad were arrived in a car decked out with "Just Married - 40 Years Ago"; it was fun to hear everyone honking at them as they drove!

The bride - wearing her veil from her wedding day!

Hanna made sure she greeted the groom with bubbles and a smile.

Not sure I'm ready to see Abigail dressed as a bride just yet!

Paul had a great time playing outside and socializing with everyone.

The bartender was pretty cute - luckily I got to go home with him at the end of the day :)

My sister, Sara, Mom and me - what a fun day to enjoy together!

My brother, Eric, attended the party via Skype all the way from Texas!

We celebrated my parent's fortieth wedding anniversary in style this past weekend. My sister, brother, grandmother, aunt and I all worked to put together a surprise party to honor their marriage. It was a success. We had a great turnout of family and friends from every stage of their lives, many of whom traveled to be there. The weather was perfect and I think my parents thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It was wonderful to be able to celebrate with them after all they've given to us - not the least of which is the example of a firm foundation in marriage.

I don't have pictures of it all, but we had fun greeting them with bubbles as they got out of their wedding car, toasting them with champage and cutting the cake with their original cake topper from their wedding on it. We also had them recite the following poem in place of vows. It was a memorable day. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad.

From that moment years ago when we first said, "I do",
our commitment and love have been proven true.
To have and to hold, moving cross country or flying the globe,
We've been lost together, but never lost each other.
In sickness and in health, when poorer and in wealth,
We've had less and we've had plenty,
But our hearts have never been empty.
We promised each other to love and to cherish,
and we will continue to do so until we both perish.
We said for better or for worse,
and we've stayed the course.
Storms in life and storms on the lake,
neither one our love can shake.
What began with just us over years grew to be more,
our future laid out with many joys in store.
Three children, four grandkids and more on the way,
our blessings we've counted together each day.
Now forty years later, we've conquered many of life's trials,
the ups and the downs after walking the aisle.
No regrets to be found in either of our hearts,
you're my other half, it's been clear from the start.
From that day to this day and every day thereafter,
we promise to spend happily ever after.

Video of KaiYu

2011-06-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

I just had to share this video of KaiYu saying "Hi Mama, hi Dada, I love you." Can't wait to hug that boy in person... what a sweet smile he has!

On the paperwork side of things, we are waiting for our last piece of paper for our dossier, and it should all be in the mail on it's way to China this Friday... one more step down, approximately a zillion more to go...

Happy Birthday, Abigail!

2011-06-06T13:01:00.001-04:00

Abigail is nine, and we've been celebrating! She is not letting her casts and being in a wheelchair slow her down when it comes to her birthday.

We had a great party with family yesterday. After blowing out her candles, Abigail said, "I guess I can tell my wish now, since it already came true... I wished for the best birthday EVER!" So sweet! I think she really felt special with all of the attention and fun gifts. It was great to see a smile on her face the whole day, and she slept very soundly last night - getting older is exhausting, after all (oh wait, that's me!)

We will continue the party today with her special request for grilled cheese for dinner and of course, more cake. I am thankful for the gift that God entrusted to us nine years ago today - Abigail truly lives up to her namesake, bringing both her father and I much joy!

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

New Pictures of KaiYu

2011-06-02T23:16:00.014-04:00

A family visiting the orphanage was kind enough to take pictures of KaiYu while they were there yesterday! What a blessing it is to see our sweet boy's face (and new haircut!) and to know that he is happy and healthy. We sent a care package to him again last week, and the family visiting said that he wanted to say hi to his mama and baba (daddy) and that he loves us... our paperwork can't get done fast enough!! I am ready to get on a plane today, that's for sure.

We did get some other great news today, that our I800a (immigration preapproval for Kai) was approved this afternoon and will be mailed out to us tomorrow. That's the last piece of paper we needed for our dossier, so hopefully it will all be off to China soon, and we'll be one step closer to hugging our sweet boy.

Abigail the Amazing is Home

2011-05-28T16:57:00.008-04:00

We are home from the hospital, and Abigail is doing GREAT! She is amazing all of us. Last night was a long one with noisy roomates and far too much activity in our room late into the night. Abigail hit a wall in the middle of the night, but once we got her some meds, she was able to fall asleep for several hours. Even at her "worst", she was calm, just had a pained look on her face and was nervous if I wasn't right next to her bed. She has pushed herself to get up and into her wheelchair, and has even tried using the walker a few times. It's hard, and she tires quickly, but I am amazed to see her pushing so hard.

She was anxious to get home, but once here I think the reality of the next several weeks hit and she had her first tears. But they passed quickly and she has been enjoying watching Dad play Wii, as well as working on her own little projects. She is proud of herself for moving from the couch to the floor on her own as well. I hope that she can keep her spirits up and that her pain stays managable at home. I am so thankful for how smoothly things have gone so far, and I am just so stinkin' proud of my girl for digging deep and bringing out the fight we didn't know she had in her.

Surgery Update

2011-05-27T16:42:00.007-04:00

I am so happy to report that Abigail's surgery went very smoothly today. We got started right on time and Abigail was so brave. She did not cry at all, and did her best to stay calm... I know it was really hard for her, but she showed true courage today. She has two full leg casts on now, and we have been admitted for the night. It's been hard for her coming out of the anethesia, she's been very sick to her stomach and loopy most of the day. Just a few minutes ago she wanted to get out of her bed for the first time and tried out the wheelchair - amazing!! She is currently down in the art room with Dad working on decorating her "shoes" for her casts.
God is so good and we have seen much answered prayer today. She has been more courageous than I have ever seen her, despite her fears, pain and just not feeling good. Thank you for praying, and for your continued prayers tonight, as nighttime is often the hardest time. I will be staying with her tonight. I'll post again tomorrow once we are home.

Surgery Tomorrow

2011-05-26T22:31:00.007-04:00

Abigail is having surgery tomorrow morning to lengthen the tendons in both of her heels. She is scheduled to go in at 7:30 am and the procedure should take two hours. She will be admitted overnight. Ryan and I will be with her for surgery, while my mom watches Paul, and then I will stay the night at the hospital while Ryan goes with Paul for the night.

Abigail is nervous, but holding it together pretty well. We are praying that this will be a character building and faith building experience for her, instead of traumatic, as she usually doesn't handle this type of thing very well. Prayers for her (and for us!) tomorrow are appreciated!

I will post on here when she is through surgery tomorrow.

Our Big News

2011-05-23T12:20:00.024-04:00

We are in the middle of paperchasing for our third child!!!

I am so excited to announce that we have another son waiting for us in China, a handsome seven year old boy in Jiangsu province. His name is KaiYu, and we couldn't be more thrilled. He will be our middle child, right between Abigail and Paul.

Ryan and I thought we were done, that our family was complete (even bought a smaller car to prove it)... but God had other plans. This time, He actually grabbed hold of Ryan's heart first, and placed the idea of adopting an older child in front of us through him. I always thought that if we did this again, it would be another baby or toddler aged child - just shows that I am better off not making any assumptions about where God will lead us next!

This is KaiYu's referral picture - the first one we saw of him.

These "snow" pictures are what we got when we asked for an update in February, when we sent in our LOI.

Kai's 7th Birthday was in April, and we were able to order a cake for him to have a party with his friends at the orphanage.

We officially sent in our Letter of Intent to adopt Kai on February 8th, and we received our PA (Pre-Approval) from China on February 14th. Since then, we've been working hard to get our dossier together and get it all over to China. We are currently waiting on the last piece of paper we need before we can send it - our I-800a approval. The process has been so different this time around, because of the Hague Treaty. It's a lot more paperwork and slower time frames than we experienced with Paul's adoption, so we are trying hard to be patient.

We are hoping that we will be able to travel by December of this year to bring our boy home... it's hard to know he is waiting while slow government offices take so long to push paper. I try to remember that God is ultimately in control of all of it, and it will all happen on the day that He ordained for it to be. In the meantime, prayers for our sweet boy are appreciated! I'll be sure to be better at updating as we go along too :)

Christmas

2011-01-19T09:33:00.000-05:00

So much for being on top of things. Christmas feels like it was a lifetime ago, but I'm going to document it anyway. Better late than never!

We started our celebrations with the Barnes family, making gingerbread houses. It wasn't even on my radar, and Joellen brought the kits, which the kids absolutely loved! Sydney and Abigail made one together, and Sara and Paul worked on one together. Blake created his own masterpiece.

On Christmas Eve, we enjoyed having my family come here for dinner before we went to church. I don't have any pictures, but I attempted to get in touch with my German side by making Roldan for the first time, my family's traditional Christmas Eve meal. It wasn't as perfect as my Oma and Mom's but it turned out okay, and tasted good. Now I know that there is a trick to keeping the meat rolled up with *multiple* toothpicks, I'll be ready to attempt it again. It was a lot of fun to have everyone here, though I know it was a lot of driving for everyone else.

The kids always have fun with my Grandma, their G.G. She never fails to bring smiles to their faces, as they do to hers.

Three cousins - Paul, Abigail and Hanna had fun together.

Christmas morning, the kids stayed in their rooms until 7am (we learned to set down some ground rules after last year's 4:30am event). We opened gifts and had a relaxing morning together. It was really nice. Abigail made Paul a stuffed Gingerbread Boy with her sewing machine, and he loved it. I think it was one of his favorite gifts.

Pillow Pets were a hit with both of them, they spent a lot of time playing "ocean" together, with their dolphin and orca (which Paul insists is a shark!)

In the late morning we headed to Grandma and Grandpa's house for more food and more gifts. Somehow I didn't manage to get any pictures, but Uncle Brandon and his friend Leela were there as well. The kids went crazy with opening gifts, but my favorite line was when Paul saw he had another box of clothes and was saying "Not again!" Once I told him he didn't need to open it, that I would take it, he suddenly really wanted those clothes after all. :)

Abigail was thrilled with her new iPod Touch. Once she learned she could not only have games and TV on it, but download an ereader and have books on there, she was ecstatic.

It was a great Christmas for all of us. We enjoyed all of our times with family and friends, and feel really blessed to have so many loved ones. Ryan was home between Christmas and New Year's so we got to spend a lot of time together, taking the kids to movies and just relaxing. It was tough to get back to real life when he needed to go back to work and the kids headed to school!

Christmas Cards

2010-11-23T21:13:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I said how much I've been enjoying getting things done early this year. Here is further proof that I'm well ahead of schedule: I usually panic a few weeks before Christmas, realizing I haven't done anything about Christmas cards and frantically picking one (any!) to just get them done. This year, I have been enjoying taking my sweet time browsing on Shutterfly, trying to figure out which card out of their hundreds to choose from I want to use. I am really impressed with the selection: Christmas photo cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards, holiday cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards and Christmas cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards. They've even got some great promotions going on ( http://bit.ly/sfly2010), which I'm having fun with.

I usually order photo cards and then type up a Christmas letter that I print at home. Ryan and I struggle with remembering how to mail merge all of our addresses and print up labels, and then we sit around late at night, signing, folding, stuffing, sealing and stamping it all. Easier than writing each card out by hand, but still, a lot of work. This year, I am thinking I will be ordering a card that I can type our letter directly into, and save myself a bunch of work.

First, though, I have to figure out which pictures I'm going to use. It's going to take me a while to choose. But hey, I've got time...

Halloween & Holidays

2010-11-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

I've always been someone who isn't crazy about Halloween, much less count it as a real holiday. To me, the holidays are Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Year's Eve. Halloween has gotten bigger and bigger, and the marketing for Christmas starts earlier each year... and this year is the first time I've found myself keeping up with it all, despite my previous it's way too early for all of this ranting. In early October, I found myself canning jar after jar of raspberry jam from our huge raspberry bushes this year, and thinking what a great Christmas present it would be to give to our neighbors. So I guess Christmas planning began before Halloween for me this year, and I have to admit that I actually like feeling like I'm ready for each holiday well before it arrives!

We actually began planning Halloween costumes in September, early enough for Abigail to pull one together herself, which was fun. She used Grandpa's old lab coat and made herself a Vet costume, which turned out really cute. Paul was a dragon, a can't-pass-it-up bargain we spontaneously picked up while walking through the mall one day. The kids had a great time at their school parades and parties, and the fun continued with trick or treating. Paul actually sprinted from house to house, yelling "trick or treat" all the way up each driveway, and sweating like a mad man, and it was Abigail who tuckered out first.

Since Halloween, we've obediently turned in our Christmas wish lists to Grandma (due November 11th, and not a day later!), finished up our outdoor winterizing, and even put up our *gasp* Christmas lights (it was warm out, and seeming like a much better idea than the usual freezing rain conditions). We are ready for Thanksgiving at my parents' house and even though we don't have our Christmas shopping done, we have it all planned for Black Friday.

Last weekend we enjoyed attending a friend's wedding, where Abigail and Paul had a great time dancing together. Abigail also sang up front in church with the choir on Sunday, and did a wonderful job.

This week, the kids are home on Thanksgiving break, so we've been finishing up homework and getting started on Christmas crafts that Abigail is making for gifts.

It's been positively relaxing to be home and to be taking life as it comes, not frantically trying to squeeze it all in at the last minute. Abigail told me today that the past three days have been the best days of her life, in part because they hung out in their jammies to play Wii this morning. I guess maybe there is something to be said for getting it all done early...

You Go, Girl!

2010-10-12T14:17:00.000-04:00

Abigail has been participating in a program called "Go Girl Go" - a running and fitness initiative for third and fourth grade girls at her school. She started out excited about the program, but about halfway through, she wanted to quit. I didn't let her, and she stuck it out. The goal that the girls were working towards was to run a 5K in a local race, which happened to be the date was had planned for Paul's birthday party. She was able to do the make up race a few days later, instead. The picture above was taken at their banquet. Every girl got an award, and hers was "The Little Engine That Could" award. The coaches said that she did not give up, even when she wanted to, and that she kept going and saying "I think I can" for each lap she did at practice. She was SO proud of herself for that certificate. As soon as we got home she said she wanted to put it in a frame.

The make up race was two days after the banquet. The 5K meant that she would need to do 12.5 laps in about 1.5 hrs to complete it. Throughout the 6 weeks of practice they'd had, Abigail had logged in 16 laps, total. To be honest, I wasn't very confident that she would be able to complete the 5K. Her coaches had even said that she could bring her bike in order to be able to finish it, but Abigail was determined to do it with her own two feet... and she did! She did a couple of laps on her scooter, but she did the rest of it on her own. Her teammates were cheering her on, and I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes when she finished it all. I did manage to hold myself together enough to not outright cry and embarass her, at least! She truly earned the medal they gave her.

I am so proud of that stubborn kid!

Happy 4th Birthday, Paul!

2010-10-12T13:52:00.000-04:00

I'm late in getting around to it, but Paul had his fourth birthday on September 27th, and we partied!

Paul had been waiting anxiously for his big day to arrive, and was just giddy with excitement when it was finally his turn to have a birthday party. Special guests included both sets of grandparents, great-grandma, my sister and her family, and the Barnes family. Paul was thrilled with each guest that arrived.

His birthday meal request was for "rice", so we had fried rice along with egg rolls and dumplings. Yummy!

Grandma made a special birthday cake... a lion, as requested by the birthday boy (to go along with his car plates and train cups!)

Grandpa S. made a special headboard for Paul's big boy bed - it's beautiful.

Opening presents was lots of fun this year. Paul really got into it, tossing paper everywhere and opening with vigorous enthusiasm. He was lucky to recieve many special and thoughful gifts.

Paul had a great time celebrating, and enjoyed opening packages that come in the mail throughout the week as well. It was a blessing to realize that this year, we sang happy birthday to him instead of signing it, he knew exactly how to blow a candle out, and he understood what to do with presents. He chattered away about how great the pop tasted, and had a blast playing with his friends and family. He's come so very far in such a short time. We were celebrating his 4th birthday, but it was also just past a year from when he received his first implant - he is just over one hearing year old. We have a lot to celebrate, to be sure!

School Update

2010-09-19T11:55:00.000-04:00

We are still alive and well around here... so alive and well that blogging has fallen to the bottom of the to do list for the past month! (How does that happen?!)

The kids are both doing well at school. We are back into a routine, and managing waking up, packing lunches, homework and all the other things that go along with school days.

Abigail is participating in an after-school program called "Go Girl Go." It's a fitness focused initiative to keep girls active and moving. It's just for 3rd and 4th grade girls at her school, and they meet twice a week to talk about nutrition, exercise, self esteem, and other healthy behaviors and attitudes, followed by running for an hour. She has been challenged and is hanging in there. Abigail does not naturally like to move, so it's a big deal for her to be running a mile or so, and to not quit. I am really proud of her for stepping out of her comfort zone and giving something new a chance. She's more than halfway through the program now, and is having a hard time continuing with it. I hope that by the end of it, she will proud of herself for hanging in there.

Choir at church has also started up again, which she is just loving. She sings her songs around the house all the time, and just announced today that she is going to try out for the solo, as she wants a chance to "be in the spotlight all by myself for once." She is craving attention and wanting to feel special. We've been making more efforts at home to make sure she gets one-on-one time alone with parents too, to try to fill that need. It's hard enough to grow up, but to do so with a three year old brother who needs so much help from Mom and Dad, and gets lots of attention from others can be hard. I understand why she so wants to be in the spotlight again! It's hard when we go out in public and people stop me to tell me how adorable Paul is, or how special or lucky he is. Abigail will be standing right there, just waiting to be noticed, and it's like people don't even see her. I try to answer comments with things like "Yes, I have TWO wonderful kids, I'm a lucky mom," but it's hard to catch it all the time. I hate seeing her just standing there, waiting to be noticed in her quiet way, and it not happening. She often lives in her brother's shadow. I think sometimes she is okay with that, and other times, not so much. Thank goodness for grandparents and family members who DO see her and tell her how special she is, 'cuz I think we are definitely at the stage where she thinks I just have to tell her those things because I'm her mom.

Paul has rocked his classroom, and is performing amazingly well. His teachers have repeatedly told me that he is the least of their problems in the class, and that they are having no issues with understanding him. He has made several friends, and had four playdates in the course of one week recently! He has now been hearing for one year with his first implant. So on the expected schedule of language development, he should be listening and speaking like a one year old. Instead, his receptive skills are age-appropriate, and his expressive language is only lagging by a few months! In one year's time, he has made more than 3.5 years worth of progress - it is just astounding! The sentences that are coming out of his mouth are so complex, and we're really getting to hear what he is thinking about. Yesterday he clearly said to me, "No Mom, I told you I want warm rice." Now the whining and attitude in his choice of words and tone of voice is another issue entirely... but can you believe that we are already to where I am correcting him regarding which words and tone of voice to use?! His articulation is coming along, but he still has really far to go with that. We are having some issues with his IEP goals and the school... but that's another post entirely. Right now, I am just so happy to report that he loves school and is doing beautifully there. We have also dropped his speech therapy appointments at the cochlear implant center down to every other week, which is really nice.

It's hard to believe that we are already almost two months into the school year. I still feel like we are just starting to find our groove, but our big fall break is just around the corner. Life changes so fast around here, I constantly feel like I am barely able to keep up! Just when I think I know what's going on, something changes. I know that there will come a time when the house is too quiet, and I have nothing to do. I will look back on these days and wonder why I didn't cherish them more. I try to slow down and enjoy the moment, I really do, but there are days when it seems impossible. So then I decide that I will just go with it, get caught up in the whirlwind pace, and let the days fly by. Somewhere there is a middle road... if you know the secret, please clue me in!

Documentary

2010-08-18T10:39:00.000-04:00

I haven't seen Wo Ai Ni yet, but I have heard a lot about it in the adoption community. It's a documentary that follows the story of an eight year old Chinese girl as she is adopted from her foster family in China into an American family in New York.

It will be interesting to see how similar the story is to our experience with Paul. He was with a foster family for 2 years before we adopted him, but I would imagine that his deafness and lack of language made things very different for him. I don't know if that shielded him from what was happening, or made it harder for him. I would guess that being so young made it a little easier on him.

It will be interesting to see this, and to hear what other people think about it.

This Wii-k

2010-08-09T22:57:00.000-04:00

Ryan left yesterday for a week long business trip. I knew it was going to be a long week without him here, but after the past 24 hours, I am looking at a new kind of crazy here! We have a Nintendo Wii system that we all enjoy playing with, and the kids especially enjoy watching Ryan play games (seems boring to me, but they love it). Lately, Paul has started trying to play a very simple tank game, and nearly always ends up blowing up Ryan (who is supposed to be his teammate). But it's very exciting for Paul, and the two of them have passed more than a few hours in front of the Wii lately.

So when we explained to the kids that Daddy had to go on a trip for work, Abigail was sad, full of long-faced dramatic hugs and clinging, but Paul's first question was, "Daddy come back and play Wii with Paul?" Upon receiving the affirmative answer from Ryan, he turned to me and emphatically announced, "Daddy say okay. Daddy play Wii with Paul. Daddy go bye bye." Clearly, that settled the matter in his mind.

I expected the week to be filled with our usual activities, running the kids to school and everything else - that sounded busy enough to me. Instead what I woke to this morning is "Where's Daddy?DAAAAADDDDYYYY!!!! PLAY WIIIIIIIIII!"

And it hasn't stopped all day.

Every 1/2 hr or so, Paul sweetly asks where Daddy is. I answer that he's gone for work, he will be gone for many more days and nights, but that he will come back. Paul nods that he understands, then stands up and yells for Daddy. Then asks me over and over if Daddy will play Wii with Paul when he gets back.

I'm ready to throw the Wii out the window.

Instead of doing that, I'm choosing to thank God that He has used annoying tank games to cement the bond Paul feels with his Daddy. Because tonight after asking to play Wii with Daddy for the millionth time, Paul added that he wanted to hug Daddy. And he wanted Daddy to help him get ready for bed. And he wanted to know if Daddy wanted to be with Paul, Abigail and Mommy. The insecurities are still there, but the bond is undeniable. Paul has a Daddy, and he wants to be with him. In his little heart, "Wii" is the same as "we" - that family unity we've been praying for. What a blessing in disguise!

Swimming With A CI

2010-08-04T11:16:00.000-04:00

Because cochlear implants are not waterproof, Paul has not been able to wear his implants while swimming. It's meant that we have to keep him in arm's reach while in the water, so that we can always tap him to get his attention, and sign to him. ("No, you may not jump into the deep end by yourself!") But we just got some new rechargable batteries for his implants, which means he doesn't have to use air-based disposable batteries. This means we can now put his cochlear implants into a dry bag, put his implant on him in the bag and under a swim cap and go swimming! He can hear us while he's in the water for the first time... good for him, and good for Mommy's nerves with my little daredevil.

Sew Easy

2010-08-04T11:06:00.000-04:00

How is it possible that my little girl is now old enough to use a sewing machine by herself? And to have her very own sewing machine, no less?!

Thanks to Oma's careful tutelage, Abigail has been busy making her own creations now. She's made little pillows, a sewing apron, and most recently a skirt for herself.

I am amazed at how well she is doing, and how long she can sit and work on something. Her creativity is wonderful, and I am so glad to see her enjoying it so much. She definitely has an artsy side to her and loves to create things all the time, so I am guessing she will be logging in many more hours on her little machine.

Back To School

2010-08-04T11:00:00.001-04:00

This week was a big week for us. On Monday, Paul started at his new preschool, which is at the same school that Abigail attends. He was nervous, and adamant that he did not want to go. He wanted his old teacher, and was sure he would not have fun at his new school. He did begrudgingly concede that he would eat the snack, however! He went in to school crying. It was an answer to prayer to see him come out at the end of school with a smile on his face, and to listen to his descriptions of all the fun things they did (and what they ate for snack, of course!) Yesterday and today he has been happy to go to school.

Not feeling so sure about this school thing.

This preschool is his first mainstream experience. He is attending a regular class, with 19 other kids, and no sign language interpreters or any other help. To say I was nervous for him is to put it mildly. The Deaf/Hard of Hearing teacher consultant stopped to check in on him that first day, and reported that he was happy and playing at a table with the other kids. His teacher sent me an email saying that he did well, and used her name when he wanted her attention. She also said that she was concerned that she would not be able to understand him, but that she and her assistant teacher were having no trouble at all. He will start speech therapy there next week as well. Overall, things have been wonderful - Paul has proven his resiliancy once again, and I am thanking God for His faithfulness again.

Walking to school - we don't miss the car ride!

Abigail started her new class today as well. She had two extra days of vacation, which we spent at home together. She was looking forward to seeing friends today, but somewhat reserved about being back. I think it was some nerves for her too. She really likes her new teacher, and is especially happy that her new teacher does not have a loud voice (unlike her mother!). Hopefully she will have good things to report after today as well.

Off to third grade... how is that possible already?!

It's great to have both my kiddos in the same school for the first time. They are on the same vacation schedule now, and I won't have to wonder who has a break & when. And, I can walk both of them to school, so no more having to drive in the mornings, hooray! Much easier to walk. Now I'll have some time to myself, to get things done around here a little bit more easily, or maybe to even sit down and read once in a while! Summer break is good, but I have to admit, I did not shed any tears sending my babies off to school either :)

Camping

2010-07-22T09:42:00.001-04:00

We just got back from our first family camping trip... and boy, was it fun! We traveled with our best-travel-buds, who just happened to have gone to China and back with us. Paul and Sara were happy to spend so much time together again, and so were the rest of us. Abigail and Sydney are close in age, with similar interests, and Blake tolerated all of the younger kids remarkably well!

We went to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore on the west coast of Michigan. The weather was perfect, and we soaked in the beautiful and unique landscape. Matt and JoEllen acted as our tour guides and whisked us from place to place, so we never even got lost once! Definitely the way to do a vacation, I say.

The first thing we did was head to the big dune on Pierce Stocking Drive - it was a 500 ft high dune that we got to run down, and then a beautiful walk along the beach to our car.

We got the the Dune Climb early enough in the morning that we were ahead of the crowds and the heat - definitely a good thing!

We enjoyed driving around the area admiring the little towns tucked into the dunes and lakes. I don't remember which lighthouse this was, but we enjoyed the scenery.

Camp life involved lots of s'mores, playing Cat's Cradle, and generally having fun.

It's hard to believe it's been a year and a half since we first saw these two together at the orphanage in China. They are fully Americanized now, that's for sure!

My favorite family picture, on the beach.

We spent time at some beautiful beaches that I don't have pictures of, as well as going tubing down the Platte River, which was a lot of fun. The kids did really well with sleeping in the tent and camping in general. The weather was perfect for us, just one small rain shower our first night. And the black bear that had been seen roaming our campground never made an appearance (although I laid awake at night listening intently for him!)

It was a perfect vacation, and I am hoping we'll be able to go on many more family camping trips.

At the "Vacation House"

2010-07-15T21:24:00.000-04:00

Over the fourth of July, our family went to Oma and Grandpa's vacation house, where we...

...enjoyed the view...

...relaxed...

...tested the waters...

...enjoyed fine dining...

...learned the art of frog catching...

...hung out...

...ate some more...

...practiced our poker faces...

...partied...

...ate s'more(s)...

...and thoroughly enjoyed our time together.

Thanks, Oma and Grandpa, for letting us crowd you out of your bed, empty your fridge, smudge your windows and deprive you of your peace and quiet. If we promise you more sticky kisses, knock-you-down hugs and happy squeals, can we come again soon?

Singing

2010-07-08T21:07:00.000-04:00

In the car today, Paul and Abigail were quietly looking at books in the backseat, when I heard a beautiful sound - my little boy humming a tuneless song to himself.

It took me a minute to register what it was, and then I could hardly see the road for the tears in my eyes.

My DEAF son, singing. Without prompting. Without anyone watching. Simply singing the song he had in his heart.

His cochlear implants are nothing short of a miracle from the hand of God. I am so grateful.

Father's Day

2010-06-20T18:57:00.000-04:00

Full arms.

Full hearts.

Happy father.

How Do I Tell Him?

2010-06-14T14:15:00.000-04:00

An unanticipated situation has been brewing here at home. And I don't quite know what to make of it. I mean, it could be a big deal, or it could be nothing at all. You see, Paul has no idea that he is deaf.

I've tried to explain it to him. I've outright told him, "You are deaf. You can't hear without your cochlear implants on." I've even tried to explain that I am not deaf, despite Paul's insistence that my earrings are cochlear implants. Demonstrations of how he can't hear a toy with with his implants off, but then can hear it with them on only lead to his conviction that the toy is broken and then fixed (a cause for great rejoicing and surprise each time!). I know he is only three years old, and I suppose this is too much for him to understand right now. The truth is that at this stage in his life, it doesn't really matter that he is deaf. He could care less whether he has his implants on most of the time or not. In fact, he regularly attempts to take them off in any number of "accidental" and sneaky ways. He is very comfortable with being deaf, and equally comfortable being able to hear. Which is exactly what I want for him. I don't have any problems with his deafness.

The reason I am trying to help him understand deafness and that he is deaf is that I don't want him to be surprised by it one day. I don't want him to think we've been holding out on him. I've heard stories about deaf kids who assume that all children are born deaf and because they have never met a deaf adult, think that they will grow out of deafness and one day become hearing. And in a much more tragic case, a child who had never met a deaf adult assumed that deafness meant he would not live to see adulthood - he was expecting an early death sometime in childhood. I've also heard about kids who don't understand that the reason they struggle more with some things is because the are deaf - instead they think they are just stupid or not as smart as everyone else. It's not like Paul knows anything other than deafness. To him, this is normal. And I love that he feels secure in that - I will always strive to affirm that part of him, and I don't want him to feel self-conscious about his deafness or his cochlear implants. It's who he is, how God made him, and he's just right that way. But I don't want him to be surprised by it either.

I guess for now I'll just keep telling him as part of our daily conversation. I hope that it's something he'll just grow into understanding - I expect that's how it will happen. Hopefully he'll have a grasp on it before he finds himself in a situation where someone is using "deaf" as an insult, or making fun of him for his cochlear implants. I just never thought that I'd have a hard time explaining to my deaf child that he is, indeed, deaf.

Happy 8th Birthday, Abigail!

2010-06-08T14:45:00.001-04:00

We spent our weekend celebrating Abigail's 8th birthday. It's hard to believe that she's already halfway to driving! Actually, best not to think too much about that :)
We celebrated up north over Memorial Day weekend with my family, then last Sunday we had Ryan's parents over for dinner, cake and presents. The birthday girl's meal of choice was grilled cheese, so we fancied it up with various cheeses (American, Muenster, Provolone and Gouda) and toppings (onion, bacon, apple), and then actually made them on the grill. The results were very tasty, and satisfied both the birthday girl's request as well as grown-up tastebuds. Grandma made her famous Midnight Birthday Cake, and fun was had by all.

Yesterday was Abigail's party with her friends. For the first time, we had an off-site party. We went to a local historic house, and it was perfect. Abigail opted for an American Girl theme, focusing on learning about the time period the house was built. The kids all brought their favorite doll (or stuffed animal for the boys), and they had fun playing old-fashioned games, touring the house, making paper dolls and eating cake & ice cream. I think Abigail enjoyed everything, but she said her favorite part was the tour and learning about the history of the house, especially since one of the previous owners was also named Abigail. She was blessed to have many friends there, and it was fun to see her enjoying herself so much (although I have to say that eight year old humor is beyond me!). I am blessed to have such a sweet, smart, wonderful daughter. She truly lives up to her name, bringing her dad and I such joy each day.

A Boy and His Monkey

2010-05-28T10:35:00.000-04:00

Currently, Paul's favorite television show is "Curious George." After watching countless hours of Curious George with him, I think I've begun to understand a bit of why he loves the show so much. At first, I thought it was just entertaining to him, but I think there is actually quite a bit more to it.

In so many ways, Paul is a lot like Curious George.

There are the obvious things, like being young and very active, and interested in exploring the world around him. Getting into all kinds of messes is something that both Paul and George are really good at. Making others laugh is also a gift they both share, along with a general zest for life.

However, what's begun to stand out to me is more than just what Curious George does, it's who he is.

George is taken in by the Man with the Yellow Hat - he is essentially adopted as a son. The Man with the Yellow Hat loves George and takes care of him in every way. His life with the Man with the Yellow Hat is a good one, and he is totally dependent on the Man for his every need. They have a special relationship, caring for each other and enjoying time together. The Man always shows up at just the right time to get George out of a sticky situation, and teaches George everything he needs to know. Two strangers who come together to form a family - that's a familiar concept to Paul. He knows of no other way to form a family.

Life in the city is vastly different from the life George was living in th jungle before the Man came into his life. George is transplanted to a totally different place with different sights, smells, foods and customs, and many of his misadventures are centered around his attempts to figure out this new life of his. Paul too has been moved from a familiar culture and way of life in rural China to suburban America. He can relate to George's culture shock.

George also does not look like the Man with the Yellow Hat. He is a monkey, and gets a lot of attention for being different. Most often, people think he is cute and admire him for his uniqueness. Occasionally, people object to having a monkey around. When they visit their country house, the neighbor boy has no idea that George is a monkey - he just thinks he's different because he's a "city kid" and befriends him. People often notice Paul and he gets a lot of attention for being cute and for the way he looks. Sometimes, people are put off by his deafness and don't know how to respond to him. And his true friends are ones who don't see that he is adopted, or has white hair, or that he is deaf... they just like to hang out with him.

George is not able to speak to people. He doesn't speak English - he speaks "monkey", and has to rely on gestures and body language to communicate. Paul is making huge gains in his English language skills, but still relies heavily on sign language and gestures to make his point to people who don't understand him. He and George both have to work extra hard to be understood. Both have made the decision that connecting with others is worth the work it takes.

Curious George is an entertaining show. It has enough humor in it that is aimed at adults to hold my attention most days (at least for the first three times we watch an episode). Gaining insight into my little guy's mind is not what I expected from this show. But seeing how much Paul enjoys it gives me encouragement that he is doing just fine, and that maybe he is gaining a sense of, well, normalcy from watching Curious George. After all, a strong sense of identity, being grounded in your family, understanding true friendship... these are all things that I want for Paul. Who knew a cartoon monkey would be the place to find it?

Pictures Worth A Thousand Words (hopefully!)

2010-05-08T20:10:00.000-04:00

I've gone AWOL from the world of blogging as of late, so I'm hoping that posting a bunch of pictures will help to make up for that, since they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Both kids have started soccer, and are thoroughly enjoying it.

I am so proud of Abigail for getting in the game this year! She is really getting into playing and doing her best to be a part of the team. It's wonderful to see her blossoming in confidence this season.

Paul, on the other hand, is just very confused about what's going on out there on the field. He has fun, but doesn't yet understand what it's all about. He'll get there!

He is loving riding his "big boy" bike now, and begs to be outside on it regardless of the weather. I don't have any pictures, but Abigail has also mastered riding without her training wheels anymore, and is quite proud of herself for that as well.Ryan and I celebrated our 10th anniversary, one year late, by going on a cruise with some friends. Scott and Karri (center) were celebrating their 13th anniversary, and Dan & Lisa (right) were also celebrating their 11th. It was wonderful to enjoy a vacation together with other couples who are also thriving in their marriages!The kids has a wonderful time with Grandma and Grandpa and Oma taking care of them while we were gone, but they were also really glad to have Mom and Dad back home.Thomas the Train came to visit nearby, so we had to make the time to take a ride on the "real" Thomas. Paul loved it and Abigail enjoyed spending special time with Oma.

Yep, we've been busy... and there is no sign of a slow down anytime soon! It does give me something to blog about... just no time to actually do it! So there you have it... see you again in a month :) Actually, there is a lot more to update about, but I'll have to get to it another day, so enjoy the pictures for now!

Easter

2010-04-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

Uncle Pat, Auntie and Hanna hosted Easter for our family this year. It was Hanna's first Easter. We all had a wonderful time at their house.

The kids especially loved the GIANT suckers the found in their baskets from Auntie...

The weather was beautiful, perfect for blowing bubbles in the backyard. It was a fun and relaxing day. Celebrating the Resurrection with loved ones made it even better... He is risen, indeed!

Bike Wash

2010-04-06T09:57:00.000-04:00

When you're busy with a bike wash, there's no time to stop and pull up your pants. Why is everyone laughing?! Must be the awesome job I'm doing washing the bikes...

I See You

2010-03-28T15:25:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I've posted. Life here has been busy, and I've been tired. Blogging has been the last thing on my mind.

We had snow (lots of it), followed by really nice warm weather, and now we've just had the yucky rainy, windy, in-between stuff. You know the kind of weather where you wear a winter jacket in the morning and a spring jacket in the afternoon, and carry an umbrella just in case all day long. It was just enough perfect weather to tease the kids into thinking they could play outside for hours every day (in either the snow or the sun)... and now we're left desperate for warm spring days to come again!

To catch up... we've been making progress on our plan to mainstream Paul next year. Right now, we are thinking he will attend preschool at the same elementary school Abigail goes to. There are several reasons for this. The first is that it is where he will attend grade school, so it will be good to get him started there now. Secondly, the school follows a year round calendar, which is extra good for Paul as it means there won't be a long summer without services for him. Hopefully that will mean no regression in his language skills. We visited the classroom last week, and both Ryan and I left feeling overwhelmed after seeing all those four year old kids chatting away so easily. It will be a huge adjustment for Paul. But we keep reminding ourselves of how far he has come in 7 months with just one implant, and he still has 5 more months with 2 implants before school starts. This is his best chance for developing spoken language, so we're going to give it a shot.

Abigail had glowing reports from her teachers for parent teacher conferences. She is a very good student, and excels at reading, which helps her to do well in so many other areas. The past year has been a crazy one of huge adjustments for her - having a brother, learning sign language, sharing her parent's attention- and she has done amazingly well. However, we have some concerns about her right now. The past few weeks have involved several doctor/specialist visits trying to figure out what we can do to help her, and it's been wearing on me. She is okay, but I want to see her reaching her full potential and enjoying everything there is to enjoy about life. It's so hard to watch someone struggling and not have quick and easy answers... I just want to fix all my baby's problems right away! Definitely a lesson to be learned there about relying on the Lord and His timing. He's been reminding me that He knows Abigail inside and out, that He is not surprised by any of this, and that He's got it all under control.

Last week I was really struggling with all that's been going on in our home. Keeping up with both kids, the house, all the doctor and therapy appointments, and life in general was hard, and I was feeling worn out and down. I sat down at the table to try to read my Bible and pray for a few minutes while Ryan was getting the kids ready for bed. I was actually just sitting there without doing either, because I was too tired to even open my Bible just then. I heard Ryan talking to Paul from upstairs. He was playing with Paul and saying, "I see you! I see you!" It hit me like a ton of bricks right then... it was just like it was the Lord saying to me, "I see you, Carla, I know everything that's going on. I see you. I see your circumstances, and I see your heart. You are not alone, I see you. I see it all, and I am in control of it all." So I've been hanging on to that lately, the reminder that God is in control, and that He is very present in our lives. I'm still tired, but I'm not feeling overwhelmed anymore. It's amazing what remembering that I am seen and known does, how it comforts me, and takes the burden off of me. This life is not my own, I'm not the one in charge. I'm learning that there is a huge amount of freedom and rest in that.

Home Sweet Home

2010-02-26T08:21:00.000-05:00

Paul was discharged from the hospital yesterday around 10 am, and we spent the rest of the day trying to recover from everything at home. The night in the hospital was rough, but that's what we expected. Paul was cheerful and busy, playing in the playroom until we got him ready for bed around 8:30. Fortunately the boy in the room with us was discharged right around then, so we had the room to ourselves. Paul did fine getting ready for bed, but took a long time to fall asleep. Ryan finally got him to sleep around 10:30. He slept like a rock for an hour and a half, until the shift change came and then new nurse came in to check on him. I was asleep too, and couldn't react fast enough to stop her from picking Paul up to fix his bandage. He woke up, couldn't see me, and only saw this stranger messing with him, and (quite rightly) freaked out. I was not a happy momma with that nurse. He didn't get back to sleep again until after 2:30, and that was only with me in bed holding him. He spent the rest of the night fighting sleep, startling awake and desperately grabbing for me to make sure I was there. Not fun. But we all lived through it, and are very happy to be home.
We all slept very well last night, and now Paul is camped out on the sofa watching TV and eating breakfast. His only complaint is his tummy, which I think is from the meds he's taking. He has lots of energy and is doing very well. I can't wait until he gets his external components in about 4 weeks, and he can hear with two ears! God is good, to have allowed all of this to go so smoothly. Thank you for your prayers for our sweet boy.

Surgery Update

2010-02-24T16:16:00.000-05:00

As you can see from the picture Paul is recovering nicely from his surgery today. He slept for about an hour, then woke up starving. He has been eating and drinking, and has even been out of bed and playing in the playroom. He amazes us! Everything went well with the surgery, despite Paul's slanted ear canal. We are thankful for the surgeons skill, and God's grace. In the recovery room Paul immediately wanted me. The difference in his response from just six months ago was clear... he has a family, and he wanted only us! He has been cheerful, despite the annoying bandages and IV. The only tears so far have been when he thought the nurse was going to give him a shot.
Thank you all for your prayers! I will post soon about how the night and then being home go.

Second Surgery

2010-02-23T16:39:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is Paul's second cochlear implant surgery. He will be implanted in his left ear this time, so that he will be able to have two "ears" to listen with. We are hopeful that this will give him an extra boost in hearing, even though he is already doing amazingly well with just one "ear".

Our surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am. We need to arrive at 6:30, which means we will need to leave the house by 5 am tomorrow. It will be a long day, and then a long night in the hospital. He did so well last time, but I am anticipating that this time around he may not be so compliant. I guess we'll find out!

Please pray for safety for him, for the surgeon as he does his work, that there will be no complications, and that Paul will feel safe and secure the entire time. I am praying that God will give Paul peace that surpasses understanding during the whole thing. I am not as worried about attachment issues this time around, but it's just never easy to pass your child off to doctors. Abigail will be staying with my mom overnight, and Ryan will crash there for the night as well, while I stay in the hospital with Paul. We will all be home again Thursday, so it's a pretty quick event all around.

I will post again after the surgery tomorrow.

Family Day

2010-02-09T20:20:00.000-05:00

Meeting Paul for the first time.

Today it's been one year since Paul joined our family.

Because of Paul, we've traveled to China and back, learned sign language as a family, had more than 50 various doctor/audiologist/speech appointments (I lost count after 50), been through 5 hearing aids and 2 cochlear implants, one MRI, one surgery, lots of blood draws and immunizations, child dedication, started preschool, first Easter/Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's, first birthday home, transitioned from a crib to a toddler bed, and potty trained. Whew!

It's been a year full of stress, change, fatigue, more doctor's offices than I've ever seen, miles and miles on the road, sleepless nights, packed calendars, conflicts, confusion, frustration, odd injuries, and a few tears.

It's also been a year full of joy, growth, laughter, confidence, learning, seeing the world in a new way, new relationships, sibling secrets and silliness, thankfulness, humility, answered prayers and amazement at what God has done and is doing.

Celebrating Family Day is supposed to be about the day Paul joined our family. And I am celebrating that today. I am also celebrating how God has changed our family. We are all tremendously different people from who we were a year ago. The Lord has been at work in our hearts and in our home to transform each of us, not just Paul. Paul has been the catalyst that God chose to use this year. Having him in our family has been God's perfect plan for all of us, and it's been clear from that very first day, when we met him with butterflies in our stomachs and faith in our steps. It seems appropriate to end this day the same way we ended it one year ago, with hearts overflowing with gratitude to the Giver of all good things.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows." James 1:17

Post-Placement, Post-Op, Post-Activation

2010-02-02T15:35:00.000-05:00

We're hitting a bunch of milestones right about now. We have finally finished all of the adoption paperwork!!! We submitted our 1-year-post-placement report to our adoption agency, which will be sent off to China. We also received the final piece of creating a paper trail for Paul, his American passport. Whew - almost 4 years of adoption paperwork... what will we do without it to keep us busy? Oh yeah, file for the adoption tax credits! And so it continues :)

We also had Paul's six month post operative appointment with his surgeon for his cochlear implant. It's hard to believe that it's only been six months since then. The surgeon took a quick look at his implant site, but we spent most of our time with him quizzing him about bilateral implantation. The short story is that we have decided to go ahead and get a second implant for Paul's other ear. He is scheduled for surgery on February 24th. Having two ears will help him to hear better in noisy environments, as well as give him the ability to find where a sound is coming from more easily. It also means he has a backup ear, in the event that something happens to one side. We are hopeful it will be for the best for him, and that this surgery will go as well as the first one did.

On Friday we had Paul's six month speech evaluation - and he blew us away! We knew he was doing very well, and our speech therapist had nothing but encouraging things to say. In the five months that he has been hearing he has made somewhere around 21-30 months of progress. That means that right now he understands and speaks like a 21 month old. If he continues to progress at the same pace he is now, he could be age-appropriate with language in about one more year. Our speech therapist told me that she has never seen someone who was implanted at his "late" age do so well - really wonderful to hear! Of course we are very proud of how well Paul has done, and thankful that the Lord has allowed everything to go so well.

The next step is figuring out what his school situation will be for next year. We are thinking we will try to "mainstream" him to immerse him in spoken language, with normally hearing/speaking peers. Another challenge for him, but we are hopeful that he will take it in stride just like everything else he's done so far. I'll keep you posted!

January 12, 2007

2010-01-31T21:04:00.000-05:00

January 12, 2007.

That's the day that my boy went through his first big transition in life. The Friday that is most likely etched into his birthparents' minds forever, even though it's a day that he can't remember. It's the day that he was discovered in a safe place with a note begging "some kind hearted people" to take care of him. It was clear that he was meant to be found. His birthparents did their best to provide for him, leaving baby supplies and a significant amount of money with him. He was in a busy location, where he was warm, sheltered, and sure to be found.

In China, parents can't place a child for adoption the way we can here. Giving up your child is a punishable offence. In China, the best option parents have is to leave their child where they will be found, and hope that they make it to an orphanage, or are taken into someone's home.

Somehow, that doesn't make it much easier when I think about that day.

I imagine that Paul's birth parents were concerned about his medical condition. I don't know if they knew he was deaf, or whether blue eyes, and a white patch of skin and hair was enough. I imagine that they agonized about whether they could provide for him, and what he might need from them. I wonder if that day when they dressed him warmly, packed up a bottle and formula, and wrapped him in a blanket they memorized his little toes, the fuzz of hair sticking straight up, the way he looked at them. I wonder if the note they wrote on an envelope filled with money was written with a shaking hand.

I imagine them traveling to the city, hearts pounding, afraid that others around them knew what they were about to do, trying to will themselves to do what they thought was best for their son. I wonder how long it took for them to find the right spot, someplace they felt was safe enough for him. I wonder if they stood at a distance, watching, waiting until someone found him, and they had to leave before they were noticed and questioned. Because surely someone would notice the pain on their face, or the tears in their eyes. I wonder if walking away was the hardest thing they've ever done. It may also have been the bravest thing they've ever done, to provide for their son in such a heart-wrenching way.

It must have been hard to do nothing when his "finding ad" was printed in the newspaper weeks later, with his postage-stamp-sized picture, asking for the parents of this child to step forward and claim him. I wonder if they kept a copy of that newspaper, a secret reminder of a hidden ache in their hearts. Every January 12 must be hard, a day of remembering the child they will likely never know anything about again.

I don't know what I was doing on January 12, 2007. If I had known that day what was happening on the other side of the world with my future son, I would have wanted to jump on a plane and get there as fast as I could. I wish that I could have been the one to find him, to care for him right from that moment on. I don't know what I was doing that day. But I do know what God was doing.

He was right there with Paul the whole time. He never left him, not even for a second. He knew exactly what was going to happen, who was going to find that sweet baby, and He was directing Paul's course to our family even from that moment. Someday, I will share this part of his story with Paul. I will tell him how I am sure his birth parents did the best they could, that their love for him was so evident in many ways. I am sure that there will be times when it will hurt for him to think about it. I hope that there will be more times that he remembers he was never truly abandoned. His Father was right there with him, never left him, and never will.

And this January, when I bundle my boy up snug and warm, when I make sure he has enough food to help him grow strong, when I wrap him up in his blanket and hold him tight, I am so very thankful. I look at his hair sticking up, gaze into his beautiful blue eyes, and I think I would rather die before I left this child.

I whisper a prayer for his birth parents in China, living with a hole in their hearts. It hardly seems fair, when my heart is so full.

Christmas and New Year's Eve

2010-01-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Has it really been month since I last posted?! I guess that pretty much tells you how busy we've been...

Paul's first Christmas home with us began with my parents, my Grandma, and my sister, her husband and their daughter coming to celebrate with us on Christmas Eve. Paul got the hang of opening gifts pretty quickly. We made it to the evening service at church, and it was overall a very nice day. It was wonderful to be able to be home instead of traveling this year.

Christmas Day began early in the morning... 4:30 am to be exact... not what Mom and Dad were planning on (which is why there aren't any pictures of us!), but the kids were excited.

A second day of opening presents? This is getting pretty good! We had a quiet morning at home, then headed over to Ryan's parents' house for more fun.

We had a wonderful time celebrating with Ryan's parents and his brother as well.

Things did get a little crazy (that's Ryan for you, a real party animal!)....

And of course, it ended as you would expect... but that's the effect that Christmas can have when you are three years old!

We were especially happy to have a rare visit with cousin Devin. It was the first time Paul met her, and she was very brave in the presence of so much chocolate-covered enthusiasm!

Overall, it was a memorable Christmas. We have so much to be thankful for, not the least of which was having Paul home with us this year. To be able to celebrate with all the members of our families at different times in so many fun ways was great. New Year's Eve was a quiet affair at home, with Paul going to bed at his usual time, and Abigail staying up late to watch a movie with us. We've pretty much worn ourselves completely out, but we had fun doing it. Now, we are trying to find our way back to a "normal" schedule as we start the year.

We spent a lot of time reflecting on all of the amazing things that the Lord did in 2009, and were overwhelmed by how much just one year could hold. We are looking forward to all that God will do in 2010!

The Christmas Man

2009-12-10T11:30:00.000-05:00

Christmas has officially started for us. Last weekend we had four invitations to Christmas events, all on Saturday. Two movies and two parties. We opted out of the movies and managed to attend both parties Saturday night. One was Ryan's work party, which was for families this year, and the other was my in-laws' annual party. The kids thoroughly enjoyed both events, but the highlight for Paul was when Santa arrived at the first event. We have seen Santa at the mall several times, and stopped to watch other children sitting on his lap. I didn't know the sign for Santa right away, so we've been referring to him as the "Christmas Man," and Paul has been desperate to go sit with him. Because this is Paul's first Christmas, he really has no idea who Santa is, or why children go visit him, but no matter - everyone else was doing it, so he really wanted to as well. After explaining to him that he had to wait until we were with Daddy and Abigail to sit on the Christmas Man's lap, he has been waiting anxiously for the big day.

Once Santa arrived at the party, Paul lined up with all the other kids, waited as patiently as a three year old can, and then just beamed the entire time he was with Santa. He was not even a little nervous about the whole thing. Of course, Santa was a bit freaked out when Ryan explained that Paul is deaf and that he would sign whatever Santa wanted to say to Paul... suddenly chatty Santa did not have much to say! But Paul didn't care, and thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. When it was Abigail's turn, she had a lot to say to Santa. Apparantly, she wasn't able to tell him what she most wanted for Christmas, so he reached into his coat, pulled out a business card, and told her to email him her list... I guess Santa is technologically savvy these days! Who knew?!

After our visit with Santa, we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's house to continue the party, even though it was already past bedtime. Abigail enjoyed chatting with everyone there, and Paul was so tired at that point that he just crawled under the tables and chairs, playing with a train and sneaking M&Ms whenever he could. We finally made it home when Abigail turned to me and asked if she could lay down somewhere, she was so tired! It was a late night, but a good way to start the holidays.

Now, we're just counting the days until the Christmas Man comes to our house! I wonder what Paul will think of that?!

Giving Thanks

2009-12-03T19:37:00.000-05:00

We enjoyed our Thanksgiving holiday very much this year. We traveled up north to my parents' house on the lake where we spent the week with both of my siblings and their children, my grandma, and my parents. All told, we had four kids, 9 adults, three dogs and a lot of fun. It was the first time we've celebrated Thanksgiving together with three of the four kids, so it was a memorable year.

Paul had been learning about Thanksgiving at school, so he was very excited to be able to identify most of the traditional foods that we ate. As you can see from the picture, he ate them with zeal. My brother's son, Ian, is a year younger than Paul, and enjoys trucks, trains and cars as much as Paul does. Ian also loved being with Abigail, calling for her as soon as he woke up each morning. Abigail soaked up the attention, and seemed to really enjoy having another little boy to ~~boss around~~ play with. My sister has a baby girl, Hanna, who charmed all of the kids, and certainly got her fair share of dirty kisses and clumsy hugs, but she managed to survive all the lovin'!

We made it out for our annual Christmas tree hunt, and had a beautiful dry sunny day for it (thank goodness!) Thanksgiving Day was gray and rainy, so we improvised and the kids rode their scooters in Oma and Grandpa's garage. Breakfast one morning was s'mores out by the campfire. We swapped kids' Christmas presents early, and trashed Oma and Grandpa's house.

We all ate too much, slept too little, and made some good memories. Looking around at the piles of laundry and toys, the fridge packed with leftovers of every kind, hearing the squeals of laughter and outbursts of tears, seeing that there were never enough chairs for everyone in the room we were in, all the chaos that a growing family brings... it was evident that there is much to give thanks for.

One Year Ago

2009-11-17T15:45:00.000-05:00

I am thankful to be able to say that Abigail has recovered from her bout with the flu. She had a secondary infection on top of it that made everything linger for longer than it should have, but she is now back at school and keeping up with life again. Amazingly, neither Ryan or I caught it from her, and Paul had already been vaccinated. I am hoping we can manage to avoid any more long illnesses this season!

It's hard to believe that just one year ago we saw Paul's file for the first time. We sent our Letter of Intent, asking to adopt him, on Nov. 11, 2008, and now here we are, one year later. The Lord has done so much, and been so good to us! It seems as though Paul has always been a part of our family, and is not a recent addition. When I think of what has happened over the past year, I am just amazed at the journey we have been on. What started as a tremendous leap of faith for us has turned into an amazing blessing that I can't imagine missing out on. It does make me wonder what other ways that the Lord wants to bless us, if we would only follow where He leads.

One year ago, I was obsessing over these referral pictures, proudly showing them to anyone who asked (or even anyone who didn't ask!). I spent so much time wondering what YiYang was really like, whether he could hear or not, whether he was ready to join our family, whether he was getting good care. Now, I get to hold this precious child in my arms each day, watch the sign language flow off of his hands and enjoy the sound of his infectious laugh as he charms everyone around him. I get to kiss his boo-boos, and be amazed at each new sound that he hears and each word that passes through his lips.

A year ago I wondered how Abigail would handle having a sibling, especially one with such a big age gap. I worried about how she would adjust, and whether she would feel displaced. Now, I love watching the two of them run around the house together, and playing and wanting to do everything the same as each other. The bond they have is amazing, and a gift from God. Abigail has grown in ways that I had not even imagined, becoming more confident and brave, more sensitive to the needs of those around her, and often offers insight and wisdom beyond her years. Paul has been a blessing to her as well.

A year ago, Ryan worried about whether our marriage might falter under the pressure that having a special-needs child could bring. Now, we doing better than we ever have before. We share the load and appreciate our quiet times together more. We have a like-mindedness that comes from walking through the unknowns together, and he is the one person I always know really "gets" it, both the struggles and the joys.

I am thankful beyond words for how the Lord has chosen to bless us. Our lives are busier than ever, changed in almost every aspect, and more full than we could ever have imagined when we accepted that file one year ago. It makes me smile to wonder about what the next year might bring... Our God is amazing!

We've Been Hit

2009-11-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

It's officially arrived in our home.... Abigail has the H1N1 virus. I was so hoping to avoid it, but here we are anyway. Paul received the first vaccine for it last week at school, so I am hoping that he will be immune enough to it that he won't get it, but Ryan and I are wide open. Abigail has a low fever and a painful cough. She is doing well most of the time, but when she coughs, it often reduces her to tears, it hurts so much. It's so hard to see my girl suffering. We got her in to the doctor early this morning to confirm everything, and he told us it should not get much worse for her, so we are thankful that she seems to have a mild version. I ran to the grocery store this morning, and am doing my best to prepare in case Ryan and I get sick too. So thankful that we have a pretty healthy family and that this is not a big deal for now, just more of a pain. Another week, another challenge, it seems!

Halloween Pictures

2009-11-01T08:11:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T15:54:00.000-04:00

Ryan did make it back from Las Vegas safely, and this week we got back into our "normal" schedule. It is so good to have him home again! At least we can be exhausted together... :)
Remember Paul's friend Sara from China? On Sunday we got to go celebrate her fourth birthday - her first birthday home with her family too. It was a lot of fun to be there for her special day. But while we were at their house, Paul scared the daylights out of everyone there.

Matt and JoEllen have a partially finished basement where the kids play, and Paul and Sara were on their way down the stairs. They had some dress up shoes on (yes, my son wears heels, but that's another post for another day), and Paul must have slipped. He tumbled all the way down the wooden stairs to land on the concrete floor. It was sickening to hear the thumping each time his body hit a step all the way down - he was right at the top when he fell. Matt and I raced over there, not knowing who had fallen, and Matt got to Paul first. He was crying, but okay. I was there a half a second later, but of course, when Paul talks about it now, he always says that he fell and Mr. Barnes came to get him... I get no credit in the story! (Matt's legs are longer, or I woulda beat him, I know it!) All I could think of after I knew that he was okay, was "he has a chip in his head, he has a chip in his head." His implant shut off after the impact, but it all seems to be functioning fine now. He had a pretty good lump, but I think God must have had an angel protecting that side of Paul's head. I swear I just want to have this kid wear a helmet all day...

We also had our audiology and speech therapy appointments this week. It's been several weeks, and Paul has made so much improvement since our last visit. He has only been activated for two months now, but the speech therapist said that he is functioning at about at 6-8 month old level. Whoo-hoo! His signing is getting better and better too, it is definitely not holding him back right now. I am so thankful he is doing so well!

That's about it for now. Paul is napping in preparation for trick or treating tonight. It will be fun to take him out and Abigail is just beside herself with excitement. She will be dressed as a Snow Princess (appropriate for the weather today!), and Paul is going as James the Train. Should be an experience! I'll post pictures when I get a chance. Happy Halloween!

Surviving The Week

2009-10-22T16:13:00.000-04:00

First off, I am giggling as I type this, because I just noticed that there is a picture on my last post where Paul's "Built for Speed" shirt is partly covered, so all you can see in bold is "PEED"! A proclamation about where we are in potty training, for sure! Ha!

This week has been getting better each day. Paul had a tough time sleeping for the first few nights that Daddy was gone, and was up in the wee hours for far too long. But, nobody else got the stomach flu, Ryan's plane did not crash, and I've discovered Boston Market's 2 Kids Eat Free after I spend $6 promo. Yes, life is good. Ryan will be home tomorrow evening, and I am so looking forward to seeing him again! He is an essential partner in this parenting thing, but more than that, I've just plain ol' missed him...

I also wanted to post an update about how Paul is progressing with his listening and speech. He is really paying attention to environmental sounds now. He tells us every time he hears the clock chime, and yesterday he was excited that he heard an ambulance coming from far away. He asks what sounds are all the time. He is also making great efforts at speech now. He clearly says "uh oh", "choo choo" and "more", as well as making consistent sounds for things like airplane, car, bus, and several animals. He is progressing much more rapidly than I expected. He also shocked me the other day when he came home from preschool and proceeded to write his name! He is so proud of himself, and it's wonderful to see him being such a little sponge.

Abigail is doing well too. She is done with soccer now, much to her dismay, but is a Brownie, so that gives her meetings to look forward to. She asked me to teach her to write her name in cursive the other night, and has filled several pages of her notebook practicing. I think she feels very grown up being able to read and now write a little in cursive. She's also been composing many poems in her journal - it's so sweet to see into her heart. I am blessed by these two wonderful kids!

WeekEND!

2009-10-18T10:53:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we enjoyed a last minute trip to Greenfield Village and the Henry Ford Museum. It was the perfect ending to Abigail's fall school break. Friday was rainy and cold, so we spent the afternoon looking at the cars, planes and trains in the museum. Abigail was facinated with reading all of the labels on everything, and Paul couldn't get enough of the trains and the airplanes. He is really coming along with his vocalizing - very consistent and understandable sounds for specific vehicles, with his two favorites being "choo choo" (train) and "ahhhhh" (airplane). We even got to see the real Oscar Mayer Weinermobile.... good times, indeed!

Saturday morning was beautiful and sunny - perfect weather for wandering around Greenfield Village. Since being introduced to the American Girl books, Abigail has become very interested in history. She LOVED walking through all the different houses from various times, and reading all of the signs aloud to us. The highlight for Paul was riding the train, a horse drawn carriage, and the carousel. My parents met us there for the afternoon, which was a lot of fun too. We thoroughly wore ourselves out and had a good time together.... and then Monday hit.

Monday morning was Abigail's first day back at school after 10 days. We started out okay, but then Ryan returned home only a few minutes after leaving. He had a flat tire, and needed to get the car in to be fixed. So I ended up running Abigail over to the neighbor's house so she could walk to school with them, then Paul and I drove to meet Ryan at Goodyear after he dropped his car off, drove him to work, and barely made it back to Paul's school on time for his class. On the way in to his school, Paul tripped in the parking lot, didn't catch himself and skinned his forehead, of all things. Definitely felt like a manic Monday, but it all worked out okay.

Tuesday morning started in the wee hours with Ryan and I waking to the smoke alarms going off all through the house. Every. Single. One. We managed to get ourselves together enough to check the whole house and determine there was no fire, but could not get the smoke alarms to turn off. We got the ladder and step stool out and took the batteries out of each one, and they were still going. Abigail stayed calm, and even felt her door to see if it was hot before opening it (good thing we visited the firestation a few days earlier). Paul slept through it all until we opened his door to take the batteries out of his. Our eardrums felt like they were going to burst until Ryan finally turned off the power to the house and we had silence. I spent my morning cleaning each alarm and replacing batteries and hoping it would not repeat itself. But hey, at least there was no real fire, right?

Wednesday was a normal, busy day with no excitement...so things were looking up.

Thursday morning (once again in the wee hours) we woke to another alarm going off in the house. We checked the carbon monoxide detector and smoke alarms, and finally figured out that it was the alarm clock in Paul's room (we had finally reset the time from the power being out on Tuesday), which was being broadcast through the house with the baby monitor. We were thankful it was in the right child's room - Paul slept through the whole thing. Ryan and I, not so much.

Friday morning was uneventful, thank goodness.

Saturday morning, Paul was lethargic and feverish. He proceeded to throw up on Ryan a few times before I got up, and then I got my fair share of being thrown up on. We spent the day helping him as best as we could, while telling Abigail to keep her distance and sanitizing everything in sight (and doing LOTS of laundry).

Today, Sunday morning, Paul has recovered, but Abigail has been complaining of a tummy ache. Ryan is on a flight to Las Vegas for a week-long conference... and I am more than a little jealous that he is getting out of Dodge! Although when Paul heard Daddy was flying on a plane today, he proceeded to tell us very animatedly that Daddy's red plane crashes with Paul's plane.... let's hope not!

So here's to the END of the week... I'm hoping that this coming week of being a single parent while Ryan is gone will be totally and utterly boring, filled with nothing but routine stuff, and uninterrupted nights of sleep (which I am in dire need of at this point!) God surely has a sense of humor... and I am smiling just recounting all the week has held! Whew!

Full Up

2009-10-07T15:47:00.000-04:00

It's been an emotional time since my last post. I started to really feel overwhelmed with life in general. Right before Paul's birthday, Ryan threw out his back and was in bed for several days, I got sick, and we entered into birthday craziness. Then the next day I took Paul to the doctor for his 3 year old checkup and found out that he had Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease - a rash and fever, as well as another rash that required antibiotics. Not serious, but enough to make him cranky. Add all of the day to day stuff to that, in addition to his speech therapy and school, and I was feeling full-up. I was feeling alone and like nobody really understood what it's like to deal with all of this.

Our pediatrician had checked Paul out for his physical and missed the rash on his hands/mouth. While waiting for his shots, I noticed the bumps on his hands and asked for the dr to come back in, which is when he diagnosed Paul. It's not common for American kids to get this at this age, so it's easy to understand how he missed it the first time. But I was left feeling like the entire burden was falling on me. I've been trying to build a "team" around us, people who will help out with all of Paul's needs, and who "have my back" should I miss anything. The pressure felt too great to bear last week. I ended up melting down on our poor speech therapist - who wonderfully spelled out all the progress Paul has made and reassured me that he is doing well and that we are doing enough for him. There are still so many uncertainties about his future - we have no guarantees that he will ever gain functional speech/listening skills. It has nothing to do with his intellect - they simply just don't know which kids will succeed and which ones won't. And it could plateau at any point. The educational plans we are laying for him have to be flexible enough that they are subject to change given how he does with the implant. Just so many unknowns...I have been trying to take it all day by day, but then when I have a few rough days, there is no big end goal in sight to spur me on.

Then last weekend I was able to attend a conference for stay at home moms. It was wonderful to get away, just what I needed. I went with JoEllen, who traveled to get her daughter from China with us, my neighbor Julie and her friend. The conference was good, but having girl time was like breathing again! I didn't realize just how crazy life has become. I knew I was struggling, but I had no idea that I was so worn out emotionally. It was great to laugh, to cry, to walk without carrying someone (and all of someone's stuff), to stay up late without worrying about how I would make it through the next day, to shower without rushing, to not have to watch the clock making sure we get to our next appointment on time. I often feel like I can't even think uninterrupted thoughts anymore. I need to make the space to do that, so that I can process the reality of things and not melt down on people.

Of course, I know that when I am worried about who "has my back", that the truth is the Lord does. I am not alone. It's good to remember that the main thing is not whether Paul speaks and hears, but how his heart is forming. Is he seeing Jesus in our lives? Will he one day be convinced of God's love for him? These are the important things. It's hard to see the big picture in the midst of the daily tasks. I am choosing now to focus on a even bigger picture... who is my son becoming? Who am I becoming? What is the spiritual tone in our home? Is my stress over the day to day stuff interfering with our sense of the eternal? I hope that I can keep things in perspective now... instead of feeling full-up of stress, I am choosing to delight in how full our lives are, because I know that all too soon there will come a time when I am left wondering how it all slipped by so quickly.

Happy Birthday, Paul!

2009-09-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

My little boy turned three yesterday. It was his first birthday home with us, and boy did we celebrate. He's witnessed several family members birthday parties, so we started prepping him early. When we brought him home in February, he couldn't blow a candle out for the life of him - he would blow and blow, and just go straight up his face to his hair. It was so funny! But many birthday celebrations later, he's had enough practice on other people's cakes that he was able to get his own candles out.

We started celebrating his big day at 6:30 in the morning... Ryan and I are looking forward to the day when our kids want to sleep in for their birthdays! He colored a Thomas the train shirt with washable markers to wear for the day, then worked on train stickers. He helped get out all the train plates and napkins for the party, and strongly disagreed with the placement of the kitchen table. He opened his gifts from Abigail and Ryan and I, and played with them all. By the time 1 pm rolled around, which is when the party was to start, he was more than ready! We just had both sets of grandparents, my grandma, my sister and her family and the Barnes who traveled with us in China over the event. Even though he knew everyone there, Paul was shy and clingy at first, but warmed up quickly.

We had lunch and then ate cake, since Paul was desperate to have the trains that Grandma decorated the cake with. When it was time for presents, he opened them all enthusiastically, and handed each one off to Grandpa to unpackage. He was a Little Emporer for the day, for sure. Today he had a hard time getting out of bed, he was so worn out from the party yesterday. He also asked me multiple times if he could have his birthday again today... it's awfully hard to wait another whole year!

It was a fun celebration of a significant day, but I couldn't help but have a bit of a heavy heart at times. I was a little sad to have missed his first two birthdays, but we did our best to make up for it by documenting every bit of this one. I don't know if his first two were celebrated or not. I kept thinking about how different this day was to another family somewhere in China. September 27 is probably a painful day to his birthparents, since they don't know anything about how thier little boy is doing. I prayed for them a lot yesterday, hoping that somehow they can have peace. I will always be grateful that they loved Paul enough to do the best they could for him, leaving him in a safe place with provisions for him.

The journey that this little guy has been on through his first 3 years is incredible. Only our amazing God could have orchestrated all the details to bring him across the world and into our home. It was wonderful to be able to celebrate his life, who he is, and all that lies ahead for him. It was a good day.

Eggs and Hamsters

2009-09-23T15:10:00.000-04:00

Paul's world is full of excitement and surprises. For example, this morning before school, he was watching an episode of Elmo's World for the first time. This episode was about birds, and Paul was thoroughly enjoying seeing all the different types of birds they were showing. He was a little perplexed at some of the shots of chickens and ducks sitting on eggs, but not too concerned. After all, eggs are one of his favorite foods - so it's exciting to see them on TV, of course. The real shock came when all of a sudden baby ducks started coming OUT of those eggs, cracking them open, sticking their wet little faces out. Paul's eyes were like saucers, and he kept saying "WHA! WHA!" at the top of his lungs. It was quite a revelation to him. He did still manage to enjoy eating an egg for lunch without any problems, thank goodness!

Then when I picked him up from preschool today, the teacher had quite the story to tell me about my little angel. They've been learning about pets for a little while now, and have had several animals visit their class. Today they had a hamster. Paul enjoyed petting the hamster and was very gentle. Then they put the hamster in his little ball to run around the room. It came near to Paul, and my very athletic son pulled back his foot and.... yep, kicked that hamster in it's little ball as hard at he could. Apparantly it even caught some air, it was such a good kick. (He was practicing at Abigail's soccer game last night, after all.) I am glad to report that the hamster is okay, although traumatized - and Paul thought getting such a reaction from the grown-ups in the room was quite funny.

Ryan's dreams for a soccer star may not be that far off, but I don't think we are raising a future veterinarian!

That's Not What I Meant!

2009-09-17T15:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Abigail and I had a chance to spend some time together while Paul was napping. Somehow the subject of alcohol came up, and we had what I thought was a very good conversation about what it is, the rules and laws about drinking it, and how it alters people's behavior and can be dangerous. I even gave the example that a loving parent who drinks too much could become very volatile and hit their child after drinking. All of a sudden, Abigail's eyes got really big, and she said, "That's IT!!! I know why (girl at school who A. doesn't get along with) is so mean - her parents probably drink too much alcohol and it makes her mean and grumpy!"

Uh-oh. That's not where I was hoping this was going!

We had a long talk after that about how you can't just assume that someone's parents have been drinking too much if their kid is grumpy. Yep, a parenting moment gone horribly awry... :)

Another funny conversation recently was when Abigail walked up to Ryan and said very seriously, "Dad, your phone is evaporating." She meant it was vibrating, and was very confused when Ryan and I couldn't stop laughing... too funny!

Before/After

2009-09-16T09:34:00.000-04:00

This is how my silverware drawer usually looks:

This is how it looks after Paul finished "helping" me:

He was so proud of himself for helping, and I didn't check to see how he did. Later, when it was time for dinner, it made me laugh out loud to see the chaos in the drawer... it is such a summary of how life is with Paul! I love having a little helper!

Welcome!

2009-09-11T21:44:00.000-04:00

This is a new blog I've started after finishing up our Path To Paul blog (www.pathtopaul.blogspot.com). I'll be posting about our two kids, Abigail Joy and Paul Sun, and all the adventures and fun we have as a family. Thanks for joining us!